Michelle Obama says no one should see turning 35 as a deadline for marriage or success

• Michelle Obama says it's time to stop treating 35 as the age when everything should be figured out.
• "I would just say there are no 'shoulds'. There are so many ways to live a happy, fulfilling life," she said.
• Moreover, much of what shapes the future comes down to circumstances beyond one's control, she added.

Michelle Obama wants people to stop stressing about turning 35.

In a clip released on Tuesday from her podcast "The Look," Obama sat down with guests Jane Fonda and Bethann Hardison to reflect on the advice she'd give her 35-year-old self.

"I would tell myself to enjoy this age, the struggles that you feel like you have at this age," Obama said. "Because mid-30s are when you may think that your career should be further along than it should be, because now you think you are starting to feel old, and you think that the time is starting to tick."

Many people begin to feel a sense of urgency at that age, thinking they should have already reached milestones like marriage or starting a family, she said.

"I would just say there are no 'shoulds'. There are so many ways to live a happy, fulfilling life," she said.

There are both positives and negatives to being married or to being a parent, and "none of that makes you who you are," Obama said.

Moreover, much of what shapes the future comes down to luck and circumstances beyond one's control, she added.

"Will you find love if you haven't found it? Who knows? You could hook up and marry somebody. That is the worst mistake you'll make. You just have to keep learning how to adapt," she said.

Despite the pressure many feel at that age, 35 is still "really, really young," Obama said.

"You have so many more chapters, and they will look completely different. So don't get caught up on what is or isn't happening now because the future has so much waiting in store," she said.

Obama joins a growing group of women in Hollywood who are pushing back against age-related expectations.

Speaking to Porter magazine in November 2023, Anne Hathaway said she was once told her career "would fall off a cliff at the age of 35."

During a "Today" show interview in November 2024, Lauren Sánchez Bezos said she never expected to have so much to look forward to in life after turning 50.

"When I was 20, I thought, 'Oh my gosh, life is over at 50.' Let me tell you: It is not, ladies. It is not over," she said.