My 5-year-old started his long Christmas wish list in October. I finally found a way to keep him happy without breaking the bank.

• One of my sons started his very long Christmas wish list back in October.
• To temper expectations, I have set a gift limit and reserve the right to veto any gift on the list.
• I'm also working to teach my kids the importance of gratitude and giving to others this season.

My 5-year-old is like me in so many ways. He's social, loves trying new things, and makes friends wherever he goes, from a kid at the playground to the older man who walks his dogs in our neighborhood. Also, like me, his love language is receiving gifts.

As such, his Christmas list is crazy long — and expensive. Since he's still a big believer in Santa and thinks all the gifts are made in the workshop, I can't use the cost of things to bring his expectations down to a realistic level.

Here's how I'm tempering his expectations this year, while still keeping the magic of Christmas alive.

I set a gift limit

Since we're still in the sweet stage of believing in Santa's magic, I can't really tell my kids that I'm setting a dollar amount on the gifts they'll receive for the holiday. After all, they still think all the toys are made in Santa's workshop and that everything is "free." Oh, I wish that were the case.

Instead, I'm setting a limit on the number of gifts Santa will bring him and his brother. In our house, it's 10 since most of the asks are for inexpensive toys.

And it's easy to explain the logic, too — since Santa has to bring gifts to every kid around the world, he can only carry a set amount per kid.

I asked him to rank his wish list

As a child, I remember drafting and redrafting my holiday wish list, ranking items in order of importance. Often, I'd cut out pictures of the desired item from catalogs or ads in the paper to really drive my point home. While Christmas isn't all about gifts, I know for kids, that's often the most exciting part of it, and I don't want to take that away from my 5-year-old.

That's why I have my kids rank their own list in order of importance, so I don't miss anything that they really want. It's also an excellent opportunity to discuss how they may not receive all the items on their list, and it's important to be thankful and appreciative of the items they do receive.

I'm teaching them to give, not just receive

At 5 and 7, my boys are at the perfect age to start giving gifts to loved ones. They both receive an allowance, so every year I take them to the toy store and have them pick out a small gift for each other with minimal guidance. Not only is it hilarious to see what they pick out for their brother, but it also teaches them the other side of holiday gifting.

We also adopt a family via the Salvation Army's Angel Tree program every year. We gather the family's list, hit up a local big-box store, and I let my boys take the lead on what they think the family's children would like. It also opens up the conversation about socioeconomic differences and the importance of giving to others if you're fortunate enough to have extra.

I encourage gratitude

This year, we're starting to exercise gratitude for what we have even earlier in the season. Every night at dinner, we share what we were grateful for that day.

We've also started a "leaf wall" in our dining room last month. Every day, the boys write one thing they're thankful for on a leaf and we affix it to the wall. We've enjoyed doing this so much that we're planning to keep adding to it through Christmas and the new year.

I always have veto power

I'm not sure how far you take the Santa thing in your house, but my kids think I'm on a first-name basis with the big guy. We text a lot. I know his favorite kind of cookie, and — most importantly — I have final approval on all the gifts Santa brings them.

This is important for two reasons. First, it helps me keep the budget in check. Second, I can easily veto gifts that aren't appropriate for their ages, like the super-fast dirt bike my 5-year-old asked for. Sorry, buddy, Mom doesn't want any emergency room visits this holiday season.