I moved to Germany with plans to stay for 9 months. I’m still here — and married to a German man — 3 years later.

The writer and her now-husband posing in Germany.
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  • In 2022, I moved to Germany for nine months as part of my Master's program.
  • I fell in love with a German man, and we're still here — and married — over three years later.
  • Although I don't think this country is my forever home, it's great for now.

When I moved to Germany in September 2022, it was under the assumption that I'd return home to Canada in nine months.

Germany was the last stop of my Master's program that stretched across two years and three universities. I'd started out in Glasgow, then moved to Barcelona, and finally ended up in the small city of Göttingen, Germany.

Fate had other plans for me, though. After downloading Bumble one evening, mostly out of boredom, I matched with Leo: a very cute German beekeeper, drummer, and artist. I was intrigued.

It wasn't long after our first date that Leo and I knew we had something special, and soon, we were spending every single day together.

There were just a few issues, though — mainly, the minor detail that he was born and raised in Germany, and I was from Canada.

I didn't plan to stay in Germany, but meeting the love of my life made the choice a no-brainer

The writer and her husband riding motorcycles in Germany.
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I had always planned to return to Canada at the end of my two-year program. Most of my friends and family were still there, and I had a few ideas of places I wanted to work after I had my Master's.

I'd also been renting a beautiful, two-story apartment that I had planned to return to. To this day, though, my furniture and boxes of clothes are still in Canada.

Germany wasn't exactly my dream destination, either. I was there because of the Master's program, but the country had never been high on my travel bucket list, and I spoke virtually no German.

In my first month of dating Leo, the reality that my time in Germany would come to an end hung over both our heads. Given how serious we became in such a short amount of time, though, that didn't last for long.

Truth be told, the decision to stay in Germany wasn't that difficult to make. I had met the love of my life. This was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of experience.

Plus, knowing that we wouldn't necessarily be here forever helped me feel a lot more confident. Leo made it clear he wasn't married to the idea of staying in Germany; he still had a few years of university to finish, but then, he was open to moving elsewhere.

By June 2023, we were engaged, and we moved in together shortly after that. Later that summer, he met my family when we traveled to Canada together, and our lives became increasingly intertwined.

There are benefits and downsides to life here

The writer and her husband sitting by the water, sharing a bottle of champagne.
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Now, it's been nearly three years since we met, and Leo and I live together on a retired farm in a small village outside Göttingen.

In June, we got legally married, and just this past October, we had a huge celebration in France with all our friends and family.

My life is wonderful, but Germany has its downsides. I miss the friendliness and more laid-back attitude of Canadians. Society here is highly rule-abiding, which can get tiring.

When I first moved here, for example, someone angrily scolded me for crossing the street on a red light. I learned later from a friend that jaywalking is frowned upon — especially if done in front of children.

I've also struggled with the language barrier. Try as I might, my German remains at a beginner level, even after three years. English isn't spoken often in our rural village, and this has led to many moments of isolation for me.

On the other hand, my cost of living feels lower, and there is a certain charm to rural German life. One thing I've come to love is the mobile bakery that comes through our village twice a week, offering a wide range of baked goods.

Also, everything closes on Sundays, and although that can be inconvenient, I appreciate the slower-paced lifestyle and emphasis on family that this helps Germany maintain.

Germany isn't forever, but it's our best option for right now

The writer and her husband posing with bandanas and sunglasses, with a grassy background.
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Our plan, for now, is to stay in Germany for another two years. We're expecting a baby in January, and we've found Germany's healthcare system to be mostly excellent.

Staying here will give Leo the chance to finish school, allow us to take advantage of the German healthcare system, and help us save some money in a more affordable setting.

After many conversations, we've planned to end up living in Canada in some capacity; maybe we'll move there in two years or split our time between both countries.

My parents are getting older, and I miss living closer to them and my friends. I also desperately miss living in an English-speaking country.

Even so, the fact that I don't know exactly what my future looks like doesn't scare me.

My move to Germany has taught me that plans can change in the blink of an eye, and although looking ahead is important, staying flexible and open-minded can lead to all kinds of unexpectedly beautiful experiences.

It has also taught me that my home is Leo, and whatever we do, we'll do it together. Soon, that will extend to our child, too.

Read the original article on Business Insider

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