I have stage 4 colon cancer. I’m leaving my kids handwritten cards for their milestones, like birthdays and weddings.

• Lauren Gilbert was diagnosed with an aggressive form of colon cancer in April 2025.
• She is writing greeting cards in case she isn't there for her kids' milestones.
• The mom hopes they will read her messages when the time comes, and it'll affirm her love for them.

This story is based on a conversation with Lauren Gilbert, 42, VP of operations for a healthcare company, from Collegeville, Pennsylvania. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Many people find it challenging to choose a suitable greeting card for a loved one. However, for me, the process took at least an hour as I chose 16 cards for my two children, Ella, 5, who is neurodiverse, and Austin, 4, to open as they grow up.

It was an emotionally draining shopping experience. I have Stage IV colon cancer, and my prognosis is not good. I doubt I will be around to celebrate occasions like their milestone birthdays, high school and college graduation, and weddings when they're older.

I've decided to write messages in the cards well in advance so that my husband, Dan, can present them to Ella and Austin on each special occasion.

I had no choice but to have surgery

The doctor broke the devastating news that I had Stage IV cancer in April this year. It was a particularly rare and aggressive form — signet ring cell adenocarcinoma.

The diagnosis came two weeks after I went to the ER with intense pressure in my rectum. My stomach had been bloated for weeks, and going to the bathroom was virtually impossible.

They did an initial X-ray, which showed inflammation. But when I had a CT scan at a second hospital after a frightening spell of vomiting, they picked up a large mass that looked like a rectal tumor. A gastroenterologist did a colonoscopy, but couldn't get past the tumor. I had no choice but surgery.

They removed the tumor and took a total of 12 inches from my colon. I was fitted with a colostomy bag, which I still wear today.

The pathology results took a while to come back, but confirmed our worst fears. The cancer had spread to my abdomen and also outside my liver.

It didn't feel real, but my emotions came in waves. Dan, who isn't particularly emotional, cried hysterically at times. This was the hardest thing for me because I hadn't seen him that way before.

We call my resting periods 'be still time'

Next, I had chemotherapy. "The doctor is going to give Mommy medicine, but it's going to make Mommy sick a little bit," I explained to the kids.

We called my resting periods "be still time," when I might need some cuddles, be alone, or sleep. "We might get to watch a movie together, but Mommy's not going to be able to run around and play."

The initial chemo sessions were successful, but the second was not. The cancer had not shrunk, but had instead spread.

Now I'm pinning my hopes on a clinical trial in Philadelphia, which I start the first week of December.

Meanwhile, I've occupied myself during my sick leave by writing children's books, including "Ella and her Neurosparkly Brain," which explores autism. The writing has given me a new purpose.

As for the kids, they're at the age when they're developing core memories. I asked myself, "What can I do to let them know I'm still watching over them when they're older?" I want them to feel that I'm still part of their lives even though I'm not here.

I decided to write personal messages in greeting cards

I'm writing letters to them to open when they're having a bad day or they're going through a break-up. For those times when they want their mom to know what's happening and need comfort.

It gave me the idea of writing personal messages in greeting cards to mark milestone occasions, such as significant birthdays — when they're 13 and become teenagers, and adults at 18 and 21, for example.

I also bought cards that were more purposeful, like getting their sacraments in church, which I hope they will.

Another plan is to write cards for their wedding day, although I haven't found the right ones yet. In Austin's, I will remind him of all the thoughtful things that he did for me, even as a 3 and 4-year-old child.

Those are the precious things I'd want him to do for his future wife, including being sensitive, nurturing, loving, and caring. I'm sure he'll build on those qualities over the years and make a great husband.

I want my kids to know that I'm proud of them

I've also been thinking about Ella's 18th birthday card, which she'll receive in January 2038 if she chooses to do so. I don't want either child to feel obliged to read them because who knows how they will feel about the idea when they're older.

However, my message to Ella will be that she has the whole world ahead of her at the age of 18. I know that by then, she'll have overcome many challenges in her life because she is incredibly strong.

I want my children to feel my love and know that I'm proud of them, no matter who they become or where their lives take them.