I got laid off at 57 and couldn’t find work for 20 months. I had to sell my apartment and work odd jobs to make ends meet.

• Amy Smith faced unemployment and depression after losing her HR management job at 57.
• She struggled financially, relying on food stamps and selling belongings to make ends meet.
• Persistence led her to a new HR role, teaching her resilience and appreciation for stability.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Amy Smith, a 59-year-old HR professional based in the Kansas City metro area. It's been edited for length and clarity.

I had spent the majority of my career in HR when I got laid off from my six-figure management job.

Over the next year and a half, I went from living in an apartment with all the bells and whistles, not even thinking about money, to going on food stamps, selling my belongings, and moving into a friend's basement — all because I couldn't find a job. At 57, I couldn't help but feel like my age was working against me in the market.

The rejections took a toll on me, and I fell into a depression. I just had this feeling that everything was closing in on top of me. Some days, it even felt hard to breathe.

After 20 months of job searching, I landed a role as an HR generalist that I love. If I could go back, I'd tell myself one thing to make my unemployment experience easier: Just get up.

The job hunt felt hopeless for months

In September 2023, I received a call from my boss saying he bank where I worked was restructuring, and my role would be eliminated the following month. I felt extremely disappointed, but I had been restructured from a previous role at the start of the pandemic, and it took me a few months to find a new job. I figured this time around it would take me at most 60 days.

I applied to any HR position I could find, even entry-level coordinator roles on job boards like LinkedIn and Indeed. The response was rejection after rejection. I even hired a professional résumé writer for help. It was $450 that I didn't have, but I was striking out so much on my own that I thought I'd give it a try.

It was another kick in the gut when I sent the new résumé to my recruiter friend, and she took one look at it and said, "You got taken, honey." She told me my original résumé was better.

When I would get interviews, I often made it through the initial screening and the phone interview, but it seemed like once I got to the in-person phase, I would get a call saying they went with another candidate. I'm not a spring chicken, so that's where I believe ageism came in.

The rejections were taking me lower and lower. I deleted the spreadsheet where I tracked my applications because I couldn't take looking at it anymore.

I fell into a depression and struggled to get out of bed

By the end of the year, I couldn't afford to buy my grandbabies any Christmas presents, and I was devastated.

I stopped changing my clothes. I'd stay in my pajamas all day and maybe run a brush through my hair. Most nights, I would sit in the dark and just stare — no TV, no lights, nothing. I didn't want to look at my computer, answer my phone, or even climb out of bed.

Once February 2024 came around, my unemployment ran out, and I had to apply for food stamps. I remember bawling to myself. I just had this overwhelming feeling that I didn't know what to do.

Then a point came when I thought to myself, "This isn't you." I told myself, "Get up, brush your teeth, brush your hair, and walk outside." I started forcing myself to leave the apartment every day. At first, it was just to grab the mail, then I started walking around outside my apartment complex to get some fresh air. It was about finding the determination to crawl out of that hole of depression, even just for five seconds at a time.

I took on odd jobs and sold household items, but it wasn't enough to save my apartment

The next month, I started looking for work in my area and got hired to sell used cars. I had to sell cars that I knew weren't good quality, so on top of battling depression, I felt like I was taking advantage of customers. After a few months, I couldn't emotionally take it anymore, so I quit. I worked a few other odd jobs, including at a convenience store and another car dealership.

In August of 2024, I started selling any items I could on Facebook Marketplace, from furniture to my CPAP machine, to make rent. It wasn't enough, and I ended up getting turned over to collections for the rent a month before my lease ended.

I packed up whatever I could fit in my SUV and moved to Florida to stay with family for a few months before coming back to Kansas City to live with some friends in the mother-in-law's quarters in the basement, which is where I am now. I'm forever grateful for them and their support, but I still battle with the fact that I'm now 59 and don't have my own home.

I appreciate everything so much more after finding a new job

A few months after moving back to Kansas City, I applied to an HR position at a health insurance company and went through a few rounds of interviews. I thought it went great, but I heard crickets.

I followed up multiple times and was clear that I wanted the job. Eventually, I got hired. The CEO told me it was my persistence throughout the interview process that won him over. It's been fantastic since I walked in the door.

I didn't feel it at the time, but the man upstairs has a plan for everything. This tough period of unemployment led me to where I am today, and I learned a valuable lesson in humility. I appreciate everything I have now, and I'm motivated to work even harder to get back the things that are important, such as my savings and retirement funds, my own place, and even my self-worth.

Here's what I would tell myself if I could go back

If I could talk to the version of me that was struggling most, I'd tell her to get out of bed, brush your teeth, and get out of your pajamas, even if it's just to put on a t-shirt and some jeans. Pushing myself to do something every day is what helped shake me out of my depression.

Take a deep breath and know that at the end of the day, you've got it and you're strong enough to get through anything that's coming at you. Don't give up on yourself because you're worth it.

Do you have a story to share about navigating long-term unemployment? If so, please reach out to the reporter at tmartinelli@businessinsider.com.