Author: openjargon

• An automated announcement told United passengers to put on oxygen masks during a Transatlantic flight.
• A passenger on the flight told aviation news outlet Simple Flying that some people panicked.
• Cabin pressure was normal the whole time, a United spokesperson told Business Insider.

Dozens of United Airlines passengers started to panic when an automated emergency announcement told them to put on oxygen masks, even though there wasn't any danger.

The Boeing 777 was flying from Paris to Washington, DC, last Wednesday when the unusual incident occurred.

Those on board were instructed by a pre-recorded message to wait for oxygen masks to fall from the ceiling and then put them on, Simple Flying reported. Few, if any, masks actually deployed.

A United Airlines spokesperson told Business Insider that "a small number of oxygen masks inadvertently deployed."

Parker Pitman, a passenger on board the flight, told Simple Flying that he couldn't see any masks on the plane. He added that some people tried to force open the ceiling compartments in a panic.

"One person had a panic attack and ran to the aircraft door, presumably to open it," Pitman added. "None of the flight crew nor cabin crew had ever heard the announcement before, and it was a very odd situation."

Travel news site Paddle Your Own Kanoo reported that flight attendants announced that they were struggling to contact the pilots.

Passengers later learned that the 26-year-old aircraft wasn't in trouble after all, and the flight continued on to Washington, DC. Two days later, the plane made its next flight.

The United spokesperson added, "The air pressure in the cabin was normal for the entire flight. The aircraft landed safely as scheduled, and customers deplaned normally."

The airline has faced much scrutiny from regulators this year following a string of safety incidents, like a tire falling off a Boeing 777 and another plane veering off the runway.

United was prevented from launching new routes while it was investigated by the Federal Aviation Administration. Last month, the airline indicated it had been allowed to restart such activities, but the FAA said its review was "ongoing," per the Associated Press.

• Dubai is adding a Cybertruck to its fleet of luxury police vehicles. 
• Elon Musk is thrilled, but the Tesla pickup is unlikely to be chasing down criminals anytime soon.
• It's unclear how effective the Cybertruck would be as a police vehicle. 

Dubai has added a Cybertruck to its fleet of luxury police vehicles — much to Elon Musk's satisfaction.

Its police force said on X it now had the Tesla as part of its "tourist police" patrol fleet, posting an image of a Cybertruck in green and white livery.

"The Dubai Police General Command has added the Tesla Cybertruck, the modern electric car with a futuristic design, to its tourist police luxury patrol fleet," wrote the police force — with the Tesla CEO hailing the addition as "cool" in a reply.

Despite its paint job, this Cybertruck is unlikely to be taking part in high-speed car chases anytime soon.

Dubai's luxury patrol fleet, which also includes Bugattis, Lamborghinis and an Aston Martin, is mostly used as a tourist attraction, CNN reported.

It is unclear how effective a police vehicle the Cybertruck would be.

Tesla says the distinctive pickup is bulletproof, but a test by the YouTube channel JerryRigEverything showed that while it could withstand small-caliber guns, larger weapons could cause serious damage to the Cybertruck's stainless steel exterior.

The Cybertruck's offroad ability has also come under scrutiny, with videos appearing online of the 6,600 lb pickup getting stuck on a sandy beach, struggling in the snow, and having difficulty climbing a small hill.

Experts have also warned that the Cybertruck poses a risk to pedestrians, telling Business Insider the truck's rapid acceleration and stainless steel frame could turn it into a "guideless missile."

The vehicle has endured a bumpy rollout since it went on sale last November.

In April Tesla recalled all 3,878 Cybertrucks it had shipped by that point over a fault that regulators found could cause the accelerator pedal to get stuck at full throttle.

Owners have also complained about a wide variety of quality issues, including panel gaps, rust spots, and an automatically-closing frunk that has a tendency to crush people's fingers (an issue Tesla has now fixed).

More recently, several posters on a Cybertruck buyers forum have claimed that deliveries of their pickups have been delayed due to an issue with its enormous windshield wiper.

Tesla and Dubai police did not immediately respond to requests for comment from Business Insider, made outside normal working hours.

• A new study by Mercer ranked 226 cities in the world based on how expensive they are to live in.
• Four of the most expensive cities are in just one country. 
• One Canadian city ranked highest for finding the balance between cost and quality of living. 

Some expats seek a better quality of life in a cheaper city; others follow a dream job posting to an expensive metropolitan hub.

But whatever the reason, finding the sweet spot between the cost and quality of living in a new city is a major consideration in deciding to move abroad for work.

New research by consulting firm Mercer has revealed the ten most expensive cities for international employees to live in in 2024.

The study ranked 226 major cities around the world, analyzing factors like the cost of a basket of goods, rental prices, and other living expenses.

Hong Kong, Singapore, and Zurich are the three most expensive cities for international workers due to their competitive housing markets, high transport costs, and high costs of goods and services.

Following Zurich in the rankings are Geneva, Basel, and Bern, making Switzerland the next most expensive place you can move to. The central European country is known as a haven for the super-wealthy. And while it offers employees very high wages, a coffee can set you back $9.

In the US, Mercer named New York, Los Angeles, Honolulu, and San Francisco as the most expensive cities to live in.

The high cost of living at home is pushing an increasing number of fed-up Americans to move abroad in search of a better lifestyle.

"The conventional American lifestyle just wasn't in our reach anymore," one couple who moved from Denver to South America previously told Business Insider.

For those looking for the least expensive cities, the top 10, according to Mercer, are:

• Havana, Cuba
• Windhoek, Namibia
• Durban, South Africa
• Dushanbe, Tajikistan
• Blantyre, Malawi
• Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan
• Islamabad, Pakistan
• Lagos, Nigeria
• Abuja, Nigeria

But in addition to prices, Mercer highlighted that quality of life, eco-friendliness, seamless connectivity, and safety and security are also important considerations when choosing where to live.

Montreal may have it all, though. The Canadian city ranked highest for its balance between a low cost of living and a high quality of life.

It was followed by the European cities of Ljubljana, Slovenia; Warsaw, Poland; and Budapest, Hungary.

• A Pennsylvania-based couple is struggling to afford a home despite their six-figure incomes. 
• They each work remotely, but expanding their home search across the US hasn't solved their problem.
• Some Americans are struggling to buy a home due to high housing prices and mortgage rates. 

When Madelyn Driver and her husband began house-hunting, they thought they had a few advantages.

First, they were in pretty good financial shape, Driver told Business Insider via email. The 30-year-old makes over $100,000 working in the tech industry, according to a document viewed by BI — and she said her husband also has a six-figure income. After taking stock of their finances, the couple decided to focus on homes valued at no more than $700,000.

Second, they had the flexibility to search for homes across the country. That's because, while they're currently based in Pennsylvania, Driver and her husband both work remotely. While they've explored several areas, Driver said Colorado, the Carolinas, and Virginia have been of particular interest.

However, despite their income and geographic flexibility, the couple has continued to bump up against affordability challenges.

"We're finding that even in a vast country like the US, housing options that align with our desires for green spaces, a somewhat metropolitan vibe, and cultural vibrancy are surprisingly out of budget," Driver said.

Driver is among a group of Americans with six-figure incomes who are having trouble meeting some of their financial goals. These people are sometimes called HENRYs — or high earners, not rich yet. In recent years, as inflation has weighed on people's finances, a $100,000-a-year salary hasn't gone as far as it used to.

"I remember thinking that earning $100,000 felt like an unimaginable milestone," Driver said. "Now, my husband and I both exceed that number. Yet, we hardly feel rich."

The US housing market has proven particularly challenging for some millennials like Driver. In recent years, high home prices and elevated mortgage rates have propelled the cost of homeownership in the US to near-record-high unaffordability levels.

"If expenses — especially housing costs — were more reasonable, I'd feel much more financially secure and rich," Driver said.

To be sure, some high-earning millennials probably think their incomes are quite sufficient. In part, this could be because they're among the roughly 52% of millennials who owned a home as of 2022 — many of whom bought homes before the spike in home prices and mortgage rates over the last few years.

Of course, for the majority of Americans who don't have a six-figure income — the average annual full-time salary was about $84,000 as of March — affording a home is even more of a challenge.

As of the first quarter of 2024, the homeownership rate for US households with a family income below the median income was about 53%, according to Census Bureau data. For households with a family income greater than or equal to the median income, the homeownership rate was about 79%.

Driver shared her homebuying strategy and priorities — and what she and her husband plan to do if the housing market doesn't shift in their favor.

Avoiding being "house-poor" is a top priority

Driver and her husband have given their home search a lot of thought. When developing their home budget, they agreed it was important not to overextend themselves.

"Our incomes could support a much higher housing price, but we really want to avoid being 'house-poor' and trapped in a higher monthly mortgage amount," she said.

Additionally, they developed a list of the top characteristics they were looking for in the area surrounding their home. Driver said their ideal location would have a highly educated population, diversity, plenty of green space, and milder weather than the Northeast.

To get a feel for each area they were considering, the couple decided that they needed to "experience it as locals." Driver said they stayed in long-term Airbnbs and pet-sat for extended periods to immerse themselves in different communities.

"This approach certainly has its logistical challenges, but it's been essential for us to see beyond the internet searches and experience what daily life would actually feel like in a new city," Driver said.

Going forward, Driver said they won't rush to buy a home if they can't find anything that checks enough of their boxes. If they're still searching a year from now, she said they might reevaluate some of their priorities.

"We won't compromise on things like a safe area and neighborhood, square footage, and property acreage," she said. "But, if we can't find the perfect home, we'd be open to buying a less expensive house that might need more serious work."

Are you making over $100,000 a year? Are you willing to share your story and the impact this income has had on your life? If so, contact this reporter at jzinkula@businessinsider.com.

Can you spot the difference between an ALICE and a HENRY? Are you too much of a dingus to know your DINKs? Would you ever consider joining the FIRE movement?

These days, coverage of the US economy is chock-full of jargony acronyms and descriptors for demographic cohorts. Some have been around for years, or at least represent groups that have long been relevant. Others are brand new — and recent economic developments, as well as the influence of platforms like TikTok, help explain why certain terms have spiked in popularity lately.

Kory Kantenga, a senior economist at LinkedIn, pointed to the "Great Resignation" — which some have rebranded as the "Great Reshuffle" — as a turning point. Coined in 2021 by Anthony Klotz, then an associate professor of management at Texas A&M, the term helped open the door for a larger conversation about Americans' jobs and finances.

"The Great Reshuffle led to many of us rethinking where, how, and why we work," Kantenga said. "While many aspects of the Great Reshuffle have faded, the paradigm shift of talking more openly about work has endured. That change, along with the proliferation of viral content, has likely supported the emergence of viral workplace terms."

The terms DINK (double income, no kids), FIRE (financial independence, retire early), and HENRY (high earner, not rich yet), meanwhile, appear to have originated in the 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s. They've been making a comeback as economic conditions have made them more relevant. DINK, for example, is used in part to highlight the financial benefits of not having children. As the costs of raising children have ballooned, the DINK lifestyle has started to resonate with couples.

It's difficult to pinpoint just how many Americans fall into each category — they're generally not officially tracked. But the terms' recent popularity suggests people want to understand how they fit into the broader economy beyond standard measurements. Together, they offer a glimpse into different groups working to get by. "I think part of why they've become popular again is because these acronyms succinctly describe various forms of financial limbo that, until relatively recently, weren't well represented in society," said Eric Anicich, an associate professor of management and organization at the USC Marshall School of Business.

Keeping track of them all is crucial to understanding how the system works, but it can get confusing. Henry, a geriatric millennial ALICE and half a POLK with his wife, Alice, feels ostracized from his DINK, DIPS, FIRE, and HENRY friends, especially since his peak boomer parents are leaving him no inheritance. What?

To make your life easier, Business Insider has compiled a glossary of terms, from the frequently used to the more exotic. Say hello to your new economic ABCs.

ALICE: Asset Limited, Income Constrained, Employed

ALICEs are stuck in no-man's-land. Their incomes put them above the federal poverty level — $31,200 for a family of four, or $15,060 for an individual — and too far afield of the threshold to qualify for government benefits like food stamps, rental assistance, or Medicaid. But their earnings aren't high enough to shield them from financial precarity, and the rising costs of living expenses like food and housing over the past few years haven't helped.

Take Sarah, a single mother of two who works one full-time job and two part-time jobs. While she's employed, her ability to bring in enough money to support her family is a source of never-ending stress.

"Every month is a struggle to make sure all the bills are paid — there's never enough for savings," she said. "My car loan, my car insurance, rent, and food take up almost my entire paycheck." (Sarah asked to use a pseudonym to prevent identification by a prior partner she said was abusive.)

Sarah earned less than $60,000 last year across her jobs. In the past, she qualified for some government benefits like SNAP. Now she's eligible only for some rent assistance through a state program. But that, too, is uncertain: She said she was "dangerously close" to losing the aid because her income is too high.

ALICEs tend to be older or younger workers, and while they're represented across racial groups, they're more likely to be Black or Hispanic. And data from the nonprofit organization United Way, which coined the term in 2009, show that about a third of the population fell below the ALICE line in 2021. (This also includes people in poverty.)

DINK: Double Income, No Kids

Perhaps the most popular acronym of them all (and the most satisfying to say aloud) is DINK, an umbrella term for couples who are certain they'll never have kids, those who don't want kids at the moment, and those who feel their economic standing dictates whether they can have kids. There are even offshoots, like DINKWAD, which throws a dog into the mix.

The term was around in the 1980s, when the yuppie — an old-school economic nickname in its own right — dominated the culture. In a 1987 article, the Los Angeles Times used "DINK" to describe a new class of child-free baby boomers relishing their wealth. Think Big and Carrie from "Sex in the City" nursing endless martinis and stocking closets full of designer shoes.

Nowadays, DINKs are having a moment as millennials and Gen Zers increasingly opt to forgo kids amid shifting attitudes toward parenthood, economic uncertainty, the climate crisis, and rising childcare costs. And many are reaping the financial benefits.

Brenton and Mirlanda Beaufils are a married couple in their early 30s who work in real estate and property management in Dallas. The influencer couple bring home six figures each year and have no plans to give up the DINK lifestyle anytime soon. They said they were taking the time to do all the things they wouldn't be able to do if they had children.

"We have a good amount of disposable income," Mirlanda said. "Last weekend, we went to Neiman Marcus and bought ourselves some fun stuff."

DIPS and POLK: Double Income, Public School; Parents of Little Kids

BI's Katie Notopoulos coined "DIPS" and "POLKs" earlier this year, arguing that American parents are economically divided by one key factor: whether their kids are old enough for a free public education or still require expensive childcare.

Families with young kids are burdened by a childcare system that requires working parents to shell out thousands of dollars a month for day care or a nanny. But as kids age into public school, many parents finally begin to save some cash.

Paige Connell, a married mother of four children under 7, has seen the divide play out under her roof.

Connell and her husband live outside Boston. They have two kids who attend public school and two younger children who still require childcare, which costs the family about $60,000 a year.

Connell, an operations manager, and her husband, a first responder, make a "decent" salary for living in Massachusetts, she said. But they still spend 20% to 30% of their income on childcare.

She acknowledged that older kids are still expensive — hers attend camps and extracurricular activities. But childcare makes the difference. "We talk about our life in terms of what comes after childcare," Connell said. "How will we invest this money? What will this money go toward?"

FIRE: Financial Independence, Retire Early

Chrissy Arsenault, a 31-year-old marketing director in Colorado, has pursued a FIRE lifestyle since her mid-20s, when she and her husband learned about the movement online. Over the past several years, they've grown their combined net worth to roughly $800,000. Arsenault said their goal is to have about $2.5 million in total investments and retire in 10 to 15 years.

Generally, people who've embraced the FIRE movement are trying to grow their savings so they can achieve financial freedom and retire as early as possible — though some choose to keep working. Many FIRE advocates trace the movement's philosophy to the 1992 best-selling book "Your Money or Your Life." As many Americans struggle to save for retirement — and as Social Security's future remains precarious — the FIRE movement offers a potentially lucrative blueprint for people who crave security and control over their finances.

For Arsenault, retiring early is about having freedom at an earlier age. "Retiring at 65-plus years old just doesn't sound appealing," she said, summing up the couple's financial strategy as "spend less, make more, and invest more."

HENRY: High Earner, Not Rich Yet

A defining trait of a HENRY is their desire to no longer be a HENRY.

HENRYs are keyed into their finances and always looking to reach the next financial tier. The term seems to have originated in 2003, but today's HENRYs are typically between 27 and 42, live in metropolitan areas, and make $80,000 to $500,000, depending on where they live.

That may seem like a lot of money to the average Joe, but HENRYs often don't feel wealthy, and caution around spending and saving is common. (The precise parameters of a HENRY are difficult to define and appear to be based more on vibes than a specific tax bracket.)

Take Christopher Stroup, a 33-year-old financial advisor in Santa Monica, California, who earned roughly $130,000 last year. Stroup said he didn't feel rich. He's still paying down his student debt while trying to reach his savings goals for making a down payment on a home, starting a family, and retiring. He said he sometimes joked that he felt like he'd need to save $250,000 to buy a home or start a family — but he could pick only one.

"I wouldn't consider myself rich yet because I haven't achieved any of those goals," he said. "Versus the traditional arc of life, I feel behind financially."

HIFI: High Income, Financially Insecure

HIFI is the latest acronym to join the club. Sherwood News described it as representing people who make good money but remain financially insecure because of overspending.

HIFIs are characterized by their steep spending and obsession with items and experiences that exude luxury. Pandemic stimulus checks, online shopping, and "buy now, pay later" options have helped fuel HIFIs' spending in recent years.

But even with government checks long gone, and as inflation and the cost of living have risen, HIFIs haven't necessarily curbed their affluent spending — leaving a sharp divide between their aspirations and their financial realities.

Geriatric millennial: The oldest members of the millennial generation

If you're in your late 30s or early 40s, hearing someone use the word "geriatric" to describe you might make you want to curl into the fetal position. Don't fear — it's meant to distinguish between two groups in a relatively young generation. Millennials are generally considered to be those born between 1981 and 1996. But the youngest and oldest are in quite different life stages.

In a 2021 Medium post, Erica Dhawan defined "geriatric millennials" as millennials born in the early 1980s. Dwahan, who has spent years researching ways to encourage better collaboration in the workplace, previously told Business Insider that geriatric millennials were well suited to working with both younger and older generations.

The past two decades have been a financial roller coaster. Many geriatric millennials were in the early stages of their careers during the Great Recession, which hampered their employment and earnings. In a 2018 report, researchers with the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis said they found that the wealth of millennials born in the 1980s was 34% below what was expected based on prior generations' experiences.

But in recent years, many geriatric millennials have seen their wealth surge thanks to rising home and stock prices. While some younger millennials feel boxed out of the housing market because of high prices and interest rates, elder ones are more likely to already own a home — setting themselves up for future wealth creation.

Peak boomer: Baby boomers born between 1959 and 1964

Peak boomer — a once disparaging term for someone displaying comical levels of "old person" behavior — has come to mean something new as the youngest members of America's largest generational cohort reach retirement age.

By the end of 2024, all baby boomers — those born between 1946 and 1964 — will be 60 or older. The increase in retirees is likely to be a significant burden on the US economy that could last decades. But for many in this "peak boomer" group, their biggest concern is their own financial security.

A recent study found that more than half of the 30 million peak boomers staring down retirement had $250,000 or less in assets. The analysis, which looked at Federal Reserve and University of Michigan Health and Retirement study data, suggested these people would be forced to rely primarily on Social Security income. But that program's fate is increasingly uncertain, and a reduction in benefits could leave millions of older Americans in dire straits.

Jewel Benjamin, 64, retired from her job as a Georgia law-enforcement officer in 2018 — but not by choice. An injury forced her out of the workforce at 59, much earlier than she had planned. Retiring early meant Benjamin had to wait two years before she could start drawing from Social Security.

These days, Benjamin receives Social Security benefits and money from her retirement plan each month. Those payments still leave her living "paycheck to paycheck," she said, as she deals with medical bills and other living expenses. (Many peak boomers are also considered ALICEs, underscoring the intersectionality of some of these demographic groups.)

"I am concerned about my finances down the road if costs don't get lower," she said. "My mortgage is really high. And it seems like I'm always owing taxes."

---

And beyond these groups, there are lots more ways to describe how Americans work:

• Bare-minimum Mondays: Start your workweek by doing as little work as possible!
• Career cushioning: Scared of looming layoffs? Make a backup plan while you're still employed.
• Corporate girlie: The TikTok aestheticization of clocking in for a 9-to-5.
• Greedflation: The theory that corporate America's suits are exploiting inflation to earn record profits.
• Lazy-girl jobs: Born of the antiwork movement, lazy-girl jobs are mindless, well-paying gigs for the burned-out employee.
• Overemployed: If you want to covertly pump up your finances, consider working multiple jobs.
• Productivity paranoia: Hybrid and remote work means your boss can't see what you're doing at all times. They've responded by micromanaging you even more.
• Quiet quitting (See also: grumpy staying; loud quitting): The post-pandemic death knell of hustle culture.

Erin Snodgrass is a reporter Business Insider's news team. She covers various topics, including history, education, and migration.

Jacob Zinkula is a reporter on Business Insider's economy team. He writes about a variety of subjects, including the job market, the gig economy, and remote work.

• Apple plans to offer a thinner iPhone by next year, Bloomberg reported.
• It also aims to make slimmer MacBook Pro and Apple Watch devices, per the report. 
• Some Apple devices have become heavier and bulkier in recent years. 

A thinner iPhone could be yours to buy next year.

Apple also plans to make slimmer versions of the MacBook Pro and Watch devices, Bloomberg's Mark Gurman wrote in a newsletter on Sunday.

Some of the company's devices have grown bulkier in recent years.

The iPhone 15 Pro is 0.32 inches (8.25 mm) deep, compared with 0.29 inches (7.4 mm) for the iPhone 12 Pro, per Apple's website. The smartphones have grown to accommodate better cameras, while the MacBook Pro expanded to take bigger batteries, Gurman wrote.

However, the iPad Pro revealed last month was slimmer than previous models but had the same battery capacity and desktop-level processing ability, according to the report, indicating Apple is able to slim down products without sacrificing performance.

Gurman wrote that the company wants to offer the "thinnest and lightest products" on the market.

The insight into Apple's thinking comes after it said last week that forthcoming products and services will get an AI boost.

Apple announced at the Worldwide Developers Conference it would integrate its new AI software, Apple Intelligence, into the iPhone, iPad, and Mac. The AI features will roll out later this year with Apple's iOS 18 update, but will only be available to iPhone 15 Pro and 15 Pro Max users.

It's not just Apple that's seeking to give its smartphone an AI upgrade. Google unveiled new capabilities for its Pixel, Samsung, and other Android phones at its I/O conference last month.

Android chief Sameer Samat previously told Business Insider that it plans to seize the moment to "reinvent" what phones can do.

AI, in general, could transform the entire smartphone market. According to analysts at Bank Of America Securities, smartphones could be replaced by the "IntelliPhone" — devices that have AI integrated into them.

The BoA analysts predict IntelliPhones will have staple AI features, which include personal assistants, a tool to recognize objects and people, real-time translation, and content creation tools.

Apple didn't immediately respond to a request for comment from Business Insider, made outside normal working hours.

• I quit my job and then joined a dating app. 
• At first, being unemployed was exhilarating. But I started to dread it when dates asked about work.
• I had to find a way to deal with my anxiety and insecurity while dating.

On April 30, 2024, I quit my job. It was a job that barely required an ounce of creativity, a job that made me go, "Why do I need to crawl out of bed for this?" I craved change, passion, and a reason to wake up.

On May 2, 2024, I created a dating app profile that was equal parts funny, mysterious, and serious. I was ready to swipe and be swept off my feet. What I wasn't so ready for was the question, "So what do you do?"

Initially, the responses to my life choice were great. Dates would say things to me like, "Lucky you!" and "Congratulations! Having fun?"

But four weeks after I quit, I no longer felt like a free bird. I felt unemployed.

"I quit a month ago" didn't have the same impact as "I just quit my job!" The emphatic responses I'd once gotten turned into "Oh"s, followed by awkward silences.

But I kept swiping on and off, my insecurities constant, until I found someone I loved speaking to. He had more than a few green flags — and two dogs as a bonus.

And it wasn't just a stroke of luck. Before we matched, I put in the work to figure out how to date with the insecurities that cropped up along with my unemployment.

I strategized around my insecurities before dates

"What do you plan to do next?" a man asked me during our first conversation. It was a valid question. The real answer was that I wanted to chill and figure it out. But I hated how unambitious it might sound to another 27-year-old.

My insecurities snowballed and were reflected in my DMs, and I ghosted men who brought up the question.

I noticed that the complex was internal, triggered by "the question." So, before going on dates, I strategized. In person, I didn't have the option to 'leave the chat.' Plus, dates cost money, and my insecurities weren't going to be an added expense. I was going to deal with them.

First, I chose a venue that would be easy on my wallet — a local bar at happy hour. It took care of my anxiety about expenses and helped me feel a bit more in control. Then, I wondered what would make me feel more confident if a date asked me about my next steps.

I jotted down things I might want to do, like looking for freelance projects, part-time gigs, and enrolling in an online course. These things prepared me to answer the dreaded question and also prepared me more for my job search. I felt more ready to date, with my head high.

Something else hit me as I worried about being dateable without a job. The right person for me wouldn't put pressure on me to figure out my next job before I was ready. They would understand this phase.

While my next date did get it, we didn't hit it off on a romantic note. Still, I'd won against insecurities, at least in round one.

When I didn't feel interesting, I became interested

As the job market tested my patience, I had nothing significant to share with my matches except anxiety. But I realized I used to love talking about my work, and others would likely love talking about theirs, too. Since I didn't have anything new to report on the work front, I decided to start asking my dates about their professions.

For example, one of my matches ran a company that turned waste into accessories — something I knew nothing about. I asked him everything I could about his business, and he was engaged and inspired. The work discussion turned into conversations about life, and my joblessness didn't matter to either of us. Though the connection fizzled when he left for a business trip, I was back in the game, and I knew a lot about carbon footprints.

I learned that the right match will help me get over my insecurities

A few more weeks and job applications later, I started speaking to someone I really liked. He loved cooking, tennis, and sending gifs (ones that were actually funny).

Listening to him talk about his well-rounded, mindfully curated life, I realized that having a job isn't the only thing that could make me feel worthy. I could find a sidekick, a hobby, one that transforms me and becomes the source of endless conversations. After all, I didn't want our chats to end.

A week later, I enrolled in kickboxing lessons. Soon, I was starting each day by punching away my insecurities and anxiety. It was perfect.

My mental clarity was rising and so was my confidence. As I started feeling better, our conversations got better, too. One day at a time, I shared my worries about landing a good job, being unemployed forever, and running out of savings. He told me about his annoying manager. We'd brainstorm solutions for both our problems. Time flew, and I landed some interviews. He was taking revenge by beating his manager at tennis.

The swiping stopped, and we moved from messaging on the dating app to WhatsApp and FaceTime.

He's convinced a new job for me is right around the corner. In a way, his belief has diluted my insecurities. Some doubts still visit until I punch them down at kickboxing.

Two months later, my favorite thing is waking up to his "Good morning, ready to 'kick' start your day?" texts.

All the more reason to get out of bed.

• As a queer woman, I always loved going to Pride celebrations, but I worried about bringing my kids.
• My transgender wife, and I decided to bring them to a small celebration, and it was overwhelming.
• But a chance encounter with a stranger helped me put Pride into perspective. 

As a young queer woman in my 20s, I found it exhilarating to march down Fifth Avenue in New York City's Pride celebrations, joining the drumming, shouting, balloons, feathers, and sequins.

I didn't care if someone splashed their beer or bumped into me. I didn't have a care in the world at that time — probably because I wasn't a mom.

But my feelings toward Pride celebrations shifted when I considered bringing my two small kids.

I wondered if the march would be safe for my children

"I don't know. Should we do Pride with kids?" I first asked my wife, Stefanie, three years ago, which was the first year of her transition.

I wondered: What would Pride mean to our young daughters, then ages 9 and 4? Would the noise, crowds, and scantily dressed people be too much?

Pride is joyful, silly, and sexy — and also defiant and fierce. It's also important, especially to our queer family. When people shout, "We're here, we're queer," it's to claim a space for human rights. Of course, I want my young children to witness this passion — but there's certainly a lot to process.

Many of our queer friends with kids have celebrated pride for years and recommended a smaller, family-friendly Pride celebration, so we decided to join the throng in Jackson Heights, Queens.

Once there, I saw that we were hardly the only ones with a stroller. But when the marchers jostled that stroller — and its rainbow flag-waving occupant — the 9-year-old clung to my arm with fear. I wondered what we were doing. How could I be a responsible mom and also that carefree marcher I used to be?

When we bought our flags, the kids really got into the spirit of things. My youngest wanted the "all pink" one, and my older daughter picked the Progress Pride flag. My daughters were smiling — what kid doesn't love a parade? — but after a rowdy group bumped into the stroller again, I ducked into a pizzeria with the kids.

I left my wife to socialize with friends and savored the quiet moment with my kids, where I felt more like my "usual" mom self. As I cut up the little one's pizza and chatted about their favorite book series, I almost forgot about the march until the windows shook with reverberations from music on loudspeakers rolling by on trucks.

We then met someone who helped put pride into perspective

The next time I blinked, Stefanie was there with a woman shakily teetering on her arm. Stefanie's expression indicated discomfort as the woman dropped into a seat beside my younger daughter, slurring her words as she spoke of heartbreak and despair.

My heart sped up. I glanced at Stefanie. Should we get out of there? Was this woman's story going to scare the kids? Was it a terrible idea to expose them to a crying and drunken stranger?

"This pizza is really good!" my 4-year-old announced. "Can we get a balloon?"

"Of course, you can get a balloon," our visitor said kindly, even as she began weeping. My instincts told me we were safe. Seeing an adult in pain wasn't something we necessarily had to protect our kids from.

"You have a beautiful family. I would do anything to have a family like this," the mysterious stranger told us through more tears.

My daughters glanced at me. "It's OK," I said to them and also to our visitor. "It's going to be OK."

The woman's life story as a Latinx trans woman in Florida came tumbling out. She kindly declined our offer to share our lunch but gratefully refilled her water glass again and again.

My daughters might have been listening or might have just been drawing in coloring books. I don't know how much they remember about the chance encounter. When I ask them about our first Pride, they seem to only remember the after-party at a friend's apartment, where they played with a hamster named Rocky.

Even if they don't remember the day another trans woman joined our family meal, I am glad that this experience was part of our first pride as a family. It reminded me that Pride is about being there for your community — whether you're clapping for a cheerleading squad or holding someone's hands through their tears. And my kids were safe through all of it.

Pride is about strength, vulnerability, and pulling together as one big rainbow family.

• Ethan Evans became a VP at Amazon through hard work and luck but wishes he had been more strategic.
• He's now a career coach and teaches his clients to actively manage their careers to get ahead.
• His strategies include handling complex projects, building social skills, and intentional networking.

I made it to vice president at Amazon after eight years at the company despite doing a poor job managing my career. My advancement came from hard work and luck, but I had no real plan.

Formal education trains us in functional skills like law, design, and engineering, but students aren't trained in navigating corporate careers. This means we need to learn how to excel inside companies on our own.

Here are seven career-advancing strategies I now know and wish I had used sooner to actively manage my career.

1. Work on longer, bigger projects to master handling complexity

Big goals require big efforts, which in turn bring big problems. To rise in your career, you'll need to be good at navigating intricate schedules, cross-team dependencies, and other challenges of scale.

The sooner you start practicing handling complex projects, the better. Seek out complex challenges and break them down rather than sticking to "your part."

2. Work with people of all specialties — not just those in your field

Early in your career, it may be enough to be an expert in your craft, but to rise through the ranks, you need to be able to bring people together to accomplish big goals.

Most innovations require not just "makers" like engineers, scientists, or artists but also finance and sales experts, lawyers, project managers, and more. Leveling up will require you to understand how others can collaborate effectively. An expert in only one field is often viewed as a valuable resource but not an executive leader.

3. Work on large, global teams

Businesses today have complex, distributed workforces. In larger companies, most teams are global, so learn to work effectively across time zones, cultures, and with people on other teams.

At a smaller company, include partners or customers in your definition of team to practice working across organizations. The better you are at working with a variety of different people, the faster you'll progress.

4. Learn about career progression intentionally: titles, performance reviews, and promotions

When I started my first job at a small public technology startup, I didn't realize there were job levels, pay ranges, or titles beyond software engineer. I couldn't plan for a progression I didn't even understand existed.

Since even the smallest companies have career tracks and a promotion process, learning about these structures and how to navigate them will always matter. It's the difference between following a map and driving blindly.

5. Build social skills: practice influence, emotional intelligence, and public speaking

Succeeding in the workplace depends on soft skills more than the functional disciplines you learned in school. With AI poised to automate more skill-based tasks, the emphasis on interpersonal skills will likely increase. Good soft skills position you for the next step in your career through relationship building.

Strong social skills come from finding something you like and investing time in it — mentoring, teaching, working with customers, or something else.

Once you identify a human interaction you enjoy, study your own skill and watch others you admire. I learned better speaking from watching many speakers and borrowing what worked from each for my own approach.

6. Invest in relationships: network and manage up

Many strong workers avoid networking. Some may be introverts and want to avoid social interactions, while others feel that intentionally building relationships is political and disingenuous. I'm an introvert, and I used to associate networking with walking up to strangers at cocktail parties and trying to sell people life insurance policies they don't want.

Networking for your career really means getting to know your colleagues better and showing interest in them beyond the bare minimum needed to finish the project. You don't need to sell them life insurance; just be friendly and treat them as individuals rather than resources.

Your manager may have good intentions to notice your work, but they'll often miss things in their rush to handle their own to-do list. By intentionally building relationships and funneling information to your manager, you ensure your work gets the notice it deserves.

Most managers hate surprises and appreciate being kept informed. Ask your manager how they prefer to get information, such as in person, chat, or over email, and watch what they like and dislike as they interact with others. Others will likely not do this, so you'll stand out by comparison.

7. Determine what kind of culture, manager, and work sets you up for success

While it's important to build soft skills, develop relationships, and become skilled at working with all kinds of people, constantly adapting one's natural style can be exhausting.

If you're a direct person like me, you'll likely always struggle in a slow, consensus-based workplace. If you prefer extensive discussion and collaboration, you'll struggle in a culture emphasizing quick decisions and following directions.

Figure out what style works best for you, and then seek the people and places where this is a natural fit. This way, you can put your energy into your work, not into adapting to incompatible norms.

Hope is not a strategy

I left Amazon in 2020 and am now a career coach. When I speak to my clients, they often work hard and hope for a promotion, but hope is not a strategy.

I tell them they must work hard and optimize their career management to maximize success. The secret to this is treating career planning and management as just as important as the hard work they do in their jobs.

There are many hardworking, talented people in the workforce. If you want to stand out, you have to be smart and intentional about managing your career.

If I had known this when I started out, I would've gone much further, much faster.

Ethan Evans is a retired Amazon vice president with over 23 years of experience as a business executive.