• Elon Musk and Sam Altman cofounded OpenAI years ago, but they're often at odds today.
• Musk left OpenAI in 2018 and now heads rival xAI.
• Here's a history of Musk and Altman's working relationship and feuds.

Elon Musk and Sam Altman lead rival AI firms and regularly take public jabs at each other — but it wasn't always like this.

Years ago, the two cofounded OpenAI, which Altman now leads. Musk departed OpenAI, which created ChatGPT, in 2018, and has since launched his own AI venture, xAI.

Their latest point of contention seems to change by the week, with Altman explaining how his view of Musk has changed over the years.

"For a long time, I looked up to him as an incredible hero, a great jewel for humanity. I have different feelings now," Altman said of Musk in a September 10 interview with former Fox News anchor Tucker Carlson.

Here's a look at Musk and Altman's complicated relationship over the years:

Musk and Altman cofounded OpenAI, the creator of ChatGPT, in 2015, alongside other Silicon Valley figures.

The group aimed to create a nonprofit focused on developing artificial intelligence "in the way that is most likely to benefit humanity as a whole," according to a statement on OpenAI's website from December 11, 2015.

At the time, Musk said that AI was the "biggest existential threat" to humanity.

"It's hard to fathom how much human-level AI could benefit society, and it's equally hard to imagine how much it could damage society if built or used incorrectly," a statement announcing the founding of OpenAI reads.

Musk stepped down from OpenAI's board of directors in 2018.

"As Tesla continues to become more focused on AI, this will eliminate a potential future conflict for Elon," OpenAI said in a blog post at the time, adding that Musk would continue to provide guidance and donations.

With his departure, Musk also backed out of a commitment to provide additional funding to OpenAI, a person involved in the matter told The New Yorker.

"It was very tough," Altman told the magazine about the situation. "I had to reorient a lot of my life and time to make sure we had enough funding."

Altman and other OpenAI cofounders had rejected Musk's proposal to run the company in 2018.

Semafor reported in 2023 that Musk wanted to run the company on his own in an attempt to beat Google. But when his offer to run the company was rejected, he pulled his funding and left OpenAI's board, the news outlet said.

In 2019, Musk shared some insight on his decision to leave, saying one of the reasons was that he "didn't agree" with where OpenAI was headed.

"I had to focus on solving a painfully large number of engineering & manufacturing problems at Tesla (especially) & SpaceX," he tweeted. "Also, Tesla was competing for some of same people as OpenAI & I didn't agree with some of what OpenAI team wanted to do. Add that all up & it was just better to part ways on good terms."

Musk has taken shots at OpenAI since he left.

Two years after his departure, Musk said, "OpenAI should be more open" in response to an MIT Technology Review article that reported there was a culture of secrecy at the organization, despite OpenAI frequently proclaiming a commitment to transparency.

Musk also said that his "confidence in Dario for safety is not high," referring to Dario Amodei, who led OpenAI's strategy at the time. Amodei is now the CEO of Anthropic, another leading AI startup.

Musk said he was pausing OpenAI's ability to train ChatGPT on the X database.

"Need to understand more about governance structure & revenue plans going forward. OpenAI was started as open-source & non-profit. Neither are still true," he said.

Musk was reportedly furious about ChatGPT's success, Semafor reported in 2023.

In November 2022, the chatbot took off, garnering millions of users for its ability to do everything from writing essays to crafting basic code. 

In February 2023, Musk doubled down, saying OpenAI is "not what I intended at all."

"OpenAI was created as an open source (which is why I named it "Open" AI), non-profit company to serve as a counterweight to Google, but now it has become a closed source, maximum-profit company effectively controlled by Microsoft. Not what I intended at all," he said in a tweet.

Musk repeated this assertion a month later.

"I'm still confused as to how a non-profit to which I donated ~$100M somehow became a $30B market cap for-profit. If this is legal, why doesn't everyone do it?" he tweeted.

Musk was one of more than 1,000 people who signed an open letter calling for a 6-month pause on training advanced AI systems.

The March 2023 letter, which also received signatures from several AI experts, cited concerns about the potential risks AI poses to humanity.

"Powerful AI systems should be developed only once we are confident that their effects will be positive and their risks will be manageable," the letter says.

But while he was publicly calling for the pause, Musk was quietly building his own AI competitor, xAI, The New Yorker reported in 2023. He launched the company in March 2023.

Altman has addressed some of Musk's gripes about OpenAI.

"To say a positive thing about Elon, I think he really does care about a good future with AGI," Altman said in 2023 on an episode of the "On With Kara Swisher" podcast, referring to artificial general intelligence.

"I mean, he's a jerk, whatever else you want to say about him — he has a style that is not a style that I'd want to have for myself," Altman told Swisher. "But I think he does really care, and he is feeling very stressed about what the future's going to look like for humanity." 

In response to Musk's claim that OpenAI has turned into "a closed source, maximum-profit company effectively controlled by Microsoft," Altman said on the podcast, "Most of that is not true, and I think Elon knows that."

Altman has also referred to Musk as one of his heroes.

In a March 2023 episode of Lex Fridman's podcast, Altman also said, "Elon is obviously attacking us some on Twitter right now on a few different vectors."

Nonetheless, he called Musk one of his heroes, adding, "I believe he is, understandably so, really stressed about AGI safety."

In a May 2023 talk at University College London, Altman was asked what he's learned from various mentors, Fortune reported. He answered by speaking about Musk.

"Certainly learning from Elon about what is just, like, possible to do and that you don't need to accept that, like, hard R&D and hard technology is not something you ignore, that's been super valuable," he said.

Musk briefly unfollowed Altman on X; Altman later poked fun at Musk's claim to be a 'free speech absolutist.'

Twitter took aim at posts linking to rival Substack in 2023, forbidding users from retweeting or replying to tweets containing such links, before reversing course. In response to a tweet about the situation, Altman tweeted, "Free speech absolutism on STEROIDS."

Musk has called himself a "free speech absolutist" before and said it's one of the reasons he bought Twitter, now X.

Altman joked that he'd watch Musk and Mark Zuckerberg's rumored cage fight.

"I would go watch if he and Zuck actually did that," he said at the Bloomberg Technology Summit in June 2023, though he said he doesn't think he would ever challenge Musk in a physical fight.

Altman also repeated several of his previous remarks about Musk's position on AI.

"He really cares about AI safety a lot," Altman said at Bloomberg's summit. "We have differences of opinion on some parts, but we both care about that and he wants to make sure we, the world, have the maximal chance at a good outcome."

Separately, Altman told The New Yorker in August 2023 that Musk has a my-way-or-the-highway approach to issues more broadly.

"Elon desperately wants the world to be saved. But only if he can be the one to save it," Altman said.

 

Musk first sued Altman and OpenAI in March 2024.

Musk sued OpenAI, Altman, and cofounder Greg Brockman in March 2024, alleging the company's direction in recent years had violated its founding principles.

Musk's lawyers alleged OpenAI "has been transformed into a closed-source de facto subsidiary of the largest technology company in the world" and is "refining an AGI to maximize profits for Microsoft, rather than for the benefit of humanity."

In response, OpenAI published a series of emails that appeared to show Musk saying he'd agree to the company's for-profit shift and that OpenAI should "attach to Tesla as its cash cow."

OpenAI also called the lawsuit "incoherent" and "contradictory," suggesting Musk was jealous of the company's success without him.

A few months later, Musk withdrew the lawsuit, a day before a judge was set to consider the case's future in a hearing.

Musk sued OpenAI again in August 2024, this time saying he was "deceived" into cofounding the company.

Musk filed a new lawsuit in August 2024 against Altman and Brockman.

The lawsuit alleges that OpenAI executives played on Musk's concerns about the existential risks of AI and "assiduously manipulated" him into cofounding the company as a nonprofit. The company's intent was to focus on building AI safely in an open approach to benefit humanity, the lawsuit says.

OpenAI has since adopted a structure featuring a nonprofit parent company and a for-profit subsidiary. It responded to the lawsuit by stating that "Elon's prior emails continue to speak for themselves."

Musk says OpenAI and Microsoft are a monopoly.

In November 2024, Musk amended the lawsuit against OpenAI to include Microsoft and Reid Hoffman, a Microsoft board member and former OpenAI board member, as defendants.

The billionaire called OpenAI's partnership with Microsoft a "de facto merger" and accused the two of anti-competitive practices, such as engaging in "lavish compensation." Musk's lawyers said the two companies "possess a nearly 70% share of the generative AI market."

"OpenAI has attempted to starve competitors of AI talent by aggressively recruiting employees with offers of lavish compensation, and is on track to spend $1.5 billion on personnel for just 1,500 employees," lawyers for Musk said in the complaint. 

Two weeks later, Musk filed a motion asking a judge to prevent OpenAI from dropping its nonprofit status.

Musk argued that OpenAI and Microsoft exploited his donations to OpenAI as a nonprofit to build a monopoly "specifically targeting xAI." In the filing, Musk's lawyers said OpenAI engaged in anticompetitive behaviors and wrongfully shared information with Microsoft.

The judge called it a "stretch" for Musk to claim he'd be irreparably harmed if she doesn't intervene to stop OpenAI from becoming a for-profit corporation, but said she wouldn't stop the case from moving to trial as early as 2025.

In a March 2025 court filing, both Musk and OpenAI agreed on wanting to expedite a trial.

The judge chastised both Altman and Musk in a decision in July for their "gamesmanship" and "excessive court filings" and said they'd "repeatedly over-litigated this case."

Musk wielded great power and influence as Trump's self-proclaimed "First Buddy" and onetime de facto head of DOGE.

Musk hasn't been quiet about his disdain for Altman postelection. He dubbed the OpenAI cofounder "Swindly Sam" in an X post on November 15. 

Musk has challenged a $500 billion AI infrastructure project, Stargate, led by OpenAI.

A day after Trump's inauguration, the President announced a $500 billion AI infrastructure project in the US called Stargate with initial funding coming from OpenAI, Oracle, SoftBank, and the United Arab Emirates' MGX. The joint venture does not include Musk's xAI.

Musk took to X to challenge the plan and once again criticize his rival. Under OpenAI's post announcing plans to invest half a trillion dollars over the next four years, Musk wrote, "They don't actually have the money."

"SoftBank has well under $10B secured," he said. "I have that on good authority."

Altman pushed back, writing that Musk was "wrong," adding "I realize what is great for the country isn't always what's optimal for your companies, but in your new role I hope you'll mostly put [the country] first."

In another response to Musk, Altman wrote: "I genuinely respect your accomplishments and think you are the most inspiring entrepreneur of our time."

Musk led a group of investors in a $97.4 billion bid for control of OpenAI.

Musk said the bid was about returning OpenAI to an "open-source, safety-focused force for good."

Altman dismissed the proposal, saying, "The company is not for sale, neither is the mission."

"No thank you but we will buy twitter for $9.74 billion if you want," he posted on X, referring to Musk's social media platform.

Altman later spoke on Musk specifically, saying, "I don't think he's a happy person."

"Probably his whole life is from a position of insecurity," Altman told Bloomberg TV. "I feel for the guy. I really do. Actually, I don't think he's a happy person. I do feel for him."

Altman believes Musk is "probably just trying to slow us down" with the bid, he told Bloomberg.

"They're trying to compete with us from a technological perspective, from, you know, getting the product into the market," Altman said, referring to Musk's xAI. "I wish he would just compete by building better products."

OpenAI's board unanimously rejected the bid, calling it Musk's "latest attempt to disrupt his competition."

Musk threatens to sue Apple, saying it gives OpenAI preferential treatment in the App Store.

"Apple is behaving in a manner that makes it impossible for any AI company besides OpenAI to reach #1 in the App Store, which is an unequivocal antitrust violation. xAI will take immediate legal action," Musk said. He'd asked earlier why the App Store didn't feature X, formerly Twitter, higher in its ranking. Grok also ranked below OpenAI in the App Store.

Altman later responded on X.

"This is a remarkable claim given what I have heard alleged that Elon does to manipulate X to benefit himself and his own companies and harm his competitors and people he doesn't like," he wrote.

The two traded several other barbs on X, including one message from Musk saying, "Scam Altman lies as easily as he breathes," and one from Altman asking Musk to "sign an affidavit that you have never directed changes to the X algorithm in a way that has hurt your competitors or helped your own companies."

Altman said Musk's falling-out with Trump wasn't a surprise.

Musk had a public fallout with Trump after criticizing the president's "Big Beautiful Bill" and later announced his intent to form a new political party, the America Party.

Asked at the annual Sun Valley conference about the matter, Altman said he didn't know much about Musk's new party but wasn't surprised Musk had feuded with Trump.

"Elon busts up with everybody," Altman said.

Altman and Musk have also spent plenty of time criticizing each other's AI chatbots.

In a recent conversation with reporters, Altman said OpenAI wants to make useful products, adding, "You will definitely see some companies go make Japanese anime sex bots," appearing to reference Grok, which has some NSFW personas.

Musk has also tried to pit ChatGPT against Altman, tweeting a screenshot in August showing it had answered Musk's question about whether he or Altman is "more trustworthy."

Altman's failed Tesla reservation cancellation sparked a new spat.

On October 30, Altman published a "tale in three acts" on X that started with a 2018 screenshot of his Tesla Roadster reservation, which included a $45,000 fee. Next was a screenshot of his request to cancel the reservation. Then, a screenshot that showed his request was met with an automated "address not found" response.

"I really was excited for the car! And I understand delays. But 7.5 years has felt like a long time to wait," Altman wrote in his next X post.

Musk fired back the next day, saying there was a fourth act to Altman's tale in which he got a refund within 24 hours. He also accused Altman of stealing OpenAI.

"i helped turn the thing you left for dead into what should be the largest non-profit ever," Altman responded.

OpenAI, which restructured in October, has a nonprofit arm called the OpenAI Foundation, which holds equity in the for-profit side of the business. The company has said it's "one of the best-resourced philanthropic organizations ever."

On X, Altman followed up his statements by accusing Musk of wanting Tesla to take over OpenAI and turn it into a for-profit business, without the OpenAI Foundation.

"now you have a great AI company and so do we," Altman said. "can't we all just move on?"

Musk v. Altman is heading for trial

A federal judge in Oakland, California, has set a trial date of March 30, 2026, for the first of what may be multiple trials in Musk's civil racketeering lawsuit against Altman, Brockman, OpenAI, and Microsoft.

This first trial will deal with Musk's claim that Altman is improperly transforming OpenAI from an altruistic, purely nonprofit artificial generative intelligence lab into what his lawsuit calls a "$157 billion, for-profit, market-paralyzing gorgon," which is a contention Altman denies.

Prior to the trial, there have been extended battles over evidence and the depositions of witnesses, including wealth manager Jared Birchall and Neuralink's director of operations, Shivon Zilis, who is the mother of four of Musk's children.

The courtroom is set to be helmed by US District Judge Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers, a jurist who brooks no nonsense.

SpaceX looks to overtake OpenAI as the world's most valuable private company.

SpaceX is planning a secondary share sale, according to an internal message to employees seen by multiple outlets, which would value the company at $800 billion, reclaiming the top spot among the world's most valuable private companies from OpenAI.

OpenAI executed its own secondary share sale in October, valuing the company at $500 billion.

The letter to employees also says SpaceX is exploring an initial public offering to "raise a significant amount of capital," The Wall Street Journal and other outlets reported. It would be the largest IPO in history.

"The thinking is that if we execute brilliantly and the markets cooperate, a public offering could raise a significant amount of capital," SpaceX Chief Financial Officer Bret Johnsen told staff in the December 12 message.

Musk also hinted at an IPO earlier this week.

After journalist Eric Berger published an op-ed arguing that SpaceX is likely to go public soon, Musk replied, "as usual, Eric is accurate."

The company is aiming to raise more than $25 billion through an initial public offering, a move that could push its valuation above $1 trillion, Reuters reported.

• In 1983, Lynne Austin was offered an opportunity to be a "billboard girl" for a new restaurant called Hooters.
• 42 years later, she reflects on Hooters' early days, unique marketing, and rapid rise in popularity.
• The early Hooters was very different from what it is now, she said.

This as-told-to essay is based on conversations between Business Insider's Liz Rowley and Jess Orwig with Lynne Austin, 64, the original Hooters Girl and a 42-year veteran of the company. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I've been proud to be the original Hooters Girl since day one, when we didn't even know we would be what we are today.

I got involved with Hooters in 1983. I was 22, working as a telephone operator and doing bikini contests as a side gig. After winning a contest on Clearwater Beach, the secretary of Ed Droste, one of Hooters' founders, approached me and said I'd be a perfect billboard girl for a restaurant that Ed and his partners were ready to open.

I thought, "I don't even know what a billboard girl is." Instead, I told her, "Sure, OK." I took his card, went home, and forgot all about it. Two months later, I was driving to another bikini contest, and I saw a construction sign: "Coming soon: Hooters." I made a hard right toward the parking lot, and that turn changed my life.

Watch Lynne, Ed, and other famous Hooters names recall the early days and how the company has evolved over more than four decades:

I initially scrubbed fridges

I was totally into the idea of being the Hooters Girl, wearing the uniform, and posing for pics. What I wasn't so wowed by was the idea of quitting my job and becoming a waitress, but Ed persuaded me with talk about "world fame," so I figured, why not give it a shot?

I quit my job in July 1983 because Hooters was supposed to open around the first week of August. Then September rolled around, and we still weren't open due to some licensing issues, and I was getting nervous because I wasn't making any money.

I told Ed I needed a job, and he pointed me to one of the owners, Gil DiGiannantonio, who told me to come down and they'd find something for me. He put me to work scrubbing refrigerators, stoves, and other kitchen appliances for the restaurant for $5 an hour until we finally opened in October. That was a long September.

The Hooters I first started working at was very different from today's establishments

The atmosphere at Hooters in the beginning was very different from what it is now. People didn't know what to expect when they came in, and honestly, we didn't know what to expect day to day.

I remember one time Gil told me we had to let a waitress, Brenda, go because she was wasting too much product. She would grab the paper towels on a spool from the back and drag them all the way through the restaurant if someone asked for a napkin. I was like, "She's making people laugh. This is what we are, we're fun! Please, don't fire her." He didn't.

It was barely controlled chaos, but it was a blast. That said, we initially weren't generating any revenue. I was pulling double shifts, sometimes three in a row, just to scrape by. We were winging it, doing anything we could to get customers.

Then, around spring break of '84, about six months after opening, it was like a switch. We were suddenly seeing hourslong lines out the door. It was something else. People couldn't get enough. I'd never seen a meteoric rise like that before or since.

I'd never seen such a meteoric rise

Hooters' success is largely due to its off-the-wall marketing. Ed was the brains behind a lot of it, willing to do anything and everything to try and get publicity.

We'd be at the restaurant at 5:30 a.m. to pick up a platter of freshly prepared wings and bring it to the local radio stations for a chance to promote ourselves on the radio. We got a lot of doors shut in our faces, at first.

Ed and Brenda — yes, paper towels Brenda — painted "Hooters" in bright orange on a capsized boat along the busy Courtney Campbell Causeway connecting Tampa to Clearwater.

Ed would even stand outside the restaurant in a chicken suit to try and get people in. We posted a billboard of me in the now-iconic orange shorts and white t-shirt. I also modeled for Playboy, which got us more publicity.

It was all marketing.

I had no idea that the billboard of me would bloom into what the brand has become. Eventually, it felt like my face was everywhere — on taxis and the side of the semis that brought in our food. It never ceased to thrill me.

Hooters is my family

As we grew and expanded, I had more opportunities, such as helping to open new restaurants and contributing to the annual calendar and pageant.

A couple of my favorite moments were when I dropped the flag on the Hooters 500 and when I marched on Washington in 1995, protesting the sex bias case against Hooters.

Yes, sex appeal was part of the Hooters concept. However, Hooters and its waitresses are so much more than the restaurant. After 42 years, they've become my family.

The Hooters Girls are my sisterhood. Some of those women were my bridesmaids and attended the birth of my children. We've been each other's support system through highs and lows, and I still stay in touch with some of them, including Brenda.

I worked as a waitress and guest bartender for Hooters for about seven years until I branched out and took on other roles, including in radio and local TV, where I continued to promote the brand.

Looking back, I hope that I was an integral part of shaping Hooters. I still participate in events, such as judging the annual pageant and selecting the calendar. It has been the ride of my life, besides, of course, being a mom to my four kids.

• Cassandra Burke, 54, became a personal trainer and registered dietitian after having breast cancer.
• Burke, who has participated in nearly 80 races, shared her best nutrition advice.
• She broke the classic American breakfast rules to get more nutrients into her diet.

At 38, Cassandra Burke was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer after she felt a shooting pain in her right breast.

She'd caught it early, but it was no easy ride. She underwent a grueling treatment protocol: a lumpectomy, a year of chemotherapy, 33 days of radiation, skin grafting (to fix dead tissue from her lumpectomy), and a precautionary hysterectomy (her aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer).

"My treatment was pretty aggressive, so it really did take a toll on me," Burke, 54, told Business Insider. "It was pretty brutal to move my body."

But she had one goal: to finish her first triathlon. She set her sights on Iron Girl: A 0.62-mile swim, a 16-mile bike ride, and a 3.4-mile run in her home state of Maryland. After finishing it, she did another Iron Girl two weeks later in Syracuse, New York. She was hooked.

It also drove her to learn more about her body and the role nutrition plays in optimizing performance. She got personal training and triathlon coach certifications along with her registered dietitian's licensure. Now, while still running a forensic science laboratory, she coaches local athletes from ages 6 to 18 as well as virtual adult and high school clients. She also provides nutrition guidance to cancer patients from her oncology center.

These days, she organizes her nutrition around the workout, which sometimes means two workout sessions in one day or a few hours of running or biking on the weekends.

Burke shared how she fuels for her training and follows a balanced diet to maximize her nutrient intake.

She sticks to quick carbs before workouts

Now 15 years cancer-free, Burke has since completed nearly 80 running events, including 27 triathlons and 18 half marathons.

Burke usually works out in the morning before work — usually doing a combination of swimming, biking, running, or strength training, depending on the day.

For a quick energy boost, she focuses on carbs and simple sugar. She might eat a few waffles, a sports gel like Gu or UCAN, or a high-carb powder like Skratch Labs.

"I'll eat carb-heavy," she said. "I just want that simple sugar, so I'm not depleting my own glycogen as much as possible." She also incorporates gels and electrolytes, like Liquid IV, throughout her training sessions as well.

Breaking the 'American breakfast' rules

Burke's first real meal of the day is usually the breakfast she has after training. To speed up her body's muscle repair and replenish glycogen, she aims for about 20 to 30 grams of protein and about 60 grams of carbohydrates in that first big meal.

She'll eat whichever meal hits those goals, whether or not it feels like a typical American breakfast. Sometimes it's a bibimbap made with leftover rice, eggs, vegetables, and a homemade gochujang sauce. Other times, it's a turkey sandwich, or cottage cheese with banana and mandarin oranges.

"That's what I teach my athletes — performance nutrition is based on what the macro is, not what the food is," she said. "So enjoy the foods that you like and the combinations that help your performance, and don't worry that it's not your typical egg-and-toast or breakfast cereal."

A cottage cheese twist on a Starbucks classic

Burke more or less follows the Mediterranean diet, focusing on lean protein sources (like chicken, fish, and eggs), whole grains, fruits, and vegetables.

After her breakfast, she tries to calculate the nutrients she feels she's missing. "Throughout the rest of the day, I just put in what I know I need through snacks and meals," she said.

She sneaks protein-rich food sources into her snacks, such as making high-fiber parfaits with Greek yogurt, granola, and fresh fruit, or creating her own version of Starbucks' bacon and Gruyere egg bites by blending cottage cheese into the mix.

Other meals, like her homemade Mexican- or Asian-style rice bowls, feature a range of vegetables for extra fiber and nutrients. "I'm big on 'eat the rainbow' with my clients," she said. " Practicing what I preach, I try to make sure I'm getting different colors and varieties of fruits and vegetables throughout the week."

• AI makes it harder for humans to relate to one another, but a recent experience has changed my mind.
• When fed the right information, maybe AI writing our love notes is helpful.
• Perhaps AI has the potential to enhance rather than replace human connection.

As a geriatric millennial and a licensed psychologist, I often lament technological changes that I see as threatening to human interactions, such as AI.

Even though I try to find the gray in all areas of life, I've been rather black-and-white about AI because I worry it's diminishing our ability to relate to one another.

However, a recent experience with my husband has made me more curious about AI.

My husband used AI for our wedding anniversary card

We recently celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary, and unbeknownst to me at the time, my husband used GenAI to write my card. He was traveling at the time, so he sent flowers and chocolate, with a card attached. The flowers were severely underwhelming, and I'm not just being a brat. My husband even called the company upon returning to express his frustration with how different they appeared in person.

But when I read the note accompanying the tiny arrangement, I teared up right away. It was heartwarming, meaningful, and really on the nose.

My husband's lack of romantic effusiveness has historically been frustrating to me. He has made steady progress in this area, and even ending cards with "love" more frequently marks such improvement. So, this note felt in line with his desire to share more emotionality, and I was touched that he'd taken that step just because he knew it would make me happy.

I have feelings about AI

My husband knows about my big feelings about AI, and he shares many of them. It seems like everyone relies on ChatGPT for relationship advice, and the most common use of META AI right now is to ask for guidance about difficult conversations with loved ones or bosses. I see it in my therapy practice all the time, and I'm skeptical about how sound the AI advice my clients receive actually is.

So, when I, a historically staunch critic of all things AI, found out that my husband had used ChatGPT to create our anniversary card, I admit I had some strong feelings.

As lacking in the sentimental department as my husband can be, I am at the opposite end of the spectrum — a hopeless romantic, as they say. I save just about every card I get, tucked into a neat little box. When I reread my husband's card before putting it away, I found myself lingering on some of the words. "…life we built together" especially sat with me. It's a common phrase, but it's not in my husband's emotional lexicon. It almost sounded like somebody else's voice. And given that we can't go more than a few days without reading about how AI will ruin people's ability to think for themselves, I had that thought. "Did AI write one of the sweetest parts of my anniversary card?"

I was delicate. I reiterated how much I'd enjoyed our belated anniversary celebration before I asked: "Did you use AI to write our anniversary card?" He copped to it, grinning from ear to ear.

Shockingly to me, I wasn't mad. This discovery actually opened a door for us to talk about how useful it is to get a little help writing a card. The pre-printed messages often feel overly mushy, and the "blank inside" cards ask us to get vulnerable in expressing our emotions. For many, including my husband, that's incredibly difficult. The result is often a message that neither the giver nor the receiver feels particularly happy about.

But this year's note was perfectly balanced. The right amount of gush without the melodrama. I felt seen, and I felt it captured our relationship well.

Perhaps AI doesn't have to replace human connection after all

If AI can help people express their love for one another, that can't be a bad thing, right? Besides, is asking ChatGPT for help any less authentic than using a pre-printed Hallmark message? ChatGPT provided more accurate information about our relationship than a Hallmark writer ever could, and it offered guidance for a note that made me feel loved and appreciated.

While the idea of a world in which chatbots replace our friends and therapists is still deeply concerning to me, this recent experience has helped me find the gray in my previously black-and-white view: I don't know that I'll ever come around to AI replacing human connection, but I do see the utility now in using AI to help us enhance our existing human connections.

At the very least, I look forward to more anniversaries with really accurate love notes.

• I never went to college and never believed a degree was required for success.
• My oldest now supports herself through college as a server and is preparing for medical school.
• Although she's taking a different path, I'm proud of what I've taught her.

I was surprised when my daughter told me she wanted not only to attend college but also to pursue medical school. She even planned out her prerequisite classes, residency, and potential debt.

In our house, we rarely talked about college because I never went. My husband also only did a few semesters at community college.

Higher education was never a requirement in our house. I never expected my daughters to enroll and take on student loan debt because I found a path to entrepreneurship without all of that.

And yet, both of my daughters want to go to college, and I respect their decision.

I followed in my mom's footsteps by becoming an entrepreneur

My mom has been a salon owner in Baltimore for over 35 years. The salon was my after-school program, my social circle, and my introduction to business. I learned early that work is more than a paycheck. It is the foundation for the kind of life you want to live.

My mom didn't talk about freedom in a motivational sense. She lived it. She set her own schedule and ran the business in a way that made sense for her. Watching that shaped me more than any degree ever could.

When I graduated from high school and had my first child at 18, I didn't even consider college — not because I felt incapable. I simply didn't believe a traditional route was required to build the life that I envisioned for myself.

My mom taught me how to work hard, how to serve people well, and how to think independently. I built my early adulthood on those values and eventually became an entrepreneur myself, returning to my mother's salon as a co-owner. Everything I learned about resilience, money, and adaptability came from living real life, not writing dissertations about it in a lecture hall.

I never pushed college on my kids

The lessons my daughters absorbed from me were not about degrees. The lessons were more about self-discipline and financial awareness. I taught them how to budget. I taught them how to track their spending. I taught them why credit matters and how debt can limit your life before adulthood even begins.

When my oldest turned 16 and got her first job, she learned to manage money the same way I did. She made mistakes, then corrected them. She saved. She budgeted. She paid attention. Now she supports herself as a server while attending college using financial aid and cash she earns. She files her own taxes. She pays her own bills. She manages tuition payment plans with intention instead of fear.

Watching her handle her life this way reminds me that independence is a muscle; if you teach your kids how to use it, they grow strong without you having to push.

My youngest, now a high school senior, is also preparing for college. She has a different personality but the same drive. She does her research. She looks up scholarships. She treats her future like something she is shaping, rather than something that is happening to her. I see two young women who understand the financial reality of higher education but aren't intimidated by it.

I'm happy my kids are taking their own paths

There is immense pride in the fact that my daughters are finding their own way in life, but there is also a quiet ache. You spend years pouring into your children. Then, suddenly, you are watching them become adults who no longer want to live the life you envisioned for them.

Avoiding college debt gave me a certain kind of freedom. Teaching my daughters about money and independence gave them the freedom to make choices. Seeing them use those choices to stretch beyond my experiences feels like the true return on everything I poured into them.

The goal was never to avoid college. It was about creating a foundation strong enough for them to choose their own direction. Watching them do that is the greatest return on investment I could ever receive.

• I found ways to make traveling more affordable for my family of five.
• I use credit card points and book trips with other families to reduce hotel and food costs.
• I also started a travel fund and tuck money away every month.

I used to scroll through friends' glamorous-looking vacation photos and feel a familiar pang, knowing there was no way my family could afford trips like that. But I didn't want to stew in jealousy, so I decided to figure out how we could travel more on our budget.

I started by prioritizing more local trips

Since some of my favorite travel memories aren't from far-off places but from day adventures or quick weekend trips, I learned to prioritize them in our calendar. Mini vacations are cheaper — no flights, rental cars, time off work, or dog sitters needed, since we generally bring our dog on these trips or leave her with the neighbor.

We live in Arizona, so we schedule hiking excursions with friends to Sedona's Red Rocks or other scenic areas at least once every few months. We also visit my parents, who live an hour and a half north of us, enjoying their cooler weather and small-town charm.

However, I don't want my family to miss out on exploring beyond our little bubble, so my next tactical move was to maximize credit card points.

My friend taught me how to maximize credit card points

I'd earned free flights and hotels before, but my friend showed me I had more to learn.

Over the past two years, I've signed up for credit cards when the point offers looked too good to pass up. I often book under my friend's referral link, so we both earn bonuses. My husband then signs up using mine, and we add each other as authorized users, often for extra points.

I currently have nine credit cards. It sounds intimidating, but it's manageable as I never add more than one sign-up bonus at a time. Closing cards can ding your credit score, so I phase them out slowly.

Some, though, I'll keep long-term, like my Sapphire card with its zero foreign transaction fees and great travel partners, and my Southwest card, which allows me to book flights with my Rapid Rewards points and offers one free checked bag for myself and up to eight guests.

Because the Sapphire card's points can be transferred to Southwest, I was able to combine them and book a flight for my family of five to Washington, D.C., this summer. The flight cost me 130,000 Rapid Rewards points, which is about $1,300. The only thing I paid out of pocket was the $56 in security fees. Then I used 78,914 introductory points from my husband's new Sapphire Chase card, valued at $788, to pay for half of our five-night hotel stay in Georgetown. In total, I saved around $2000.

One caveat: I always pay my credit cards off monthly. I want to be the one benefiting — not the credit card company.

Booking trips with family and friends makes travel more memorable and affordable

We often split hotels or Airbnbs with family or friends. Sharing costs makes trips more economical and usually more fun. We plan meals together, too, when the place we're staying has a kitchen, which further cuts costs.

I discovered that when new properties are listed on Airbnb, the first few stays are often discounted to drive more bookings and garner reviews. We've stayed in some upgraded places using this tactic. On an upcoming trip to Europe, I found a two-bedroom flat in London's city center with only a few reviews, offering a better deal at $970 for four nights, while many nearby properties were $1,300 or more.

I search for the best deals on transportation

While in Europe, we plan to take trains to and from a few cities. I was shocked by train costs. That's how I found Omio, which helped me compare, purchase, and store tickets for train, bus, and ferry trips in one place, saving me time and money.

When traveling, we rely on public transportation if the city is well-connected, only hopping in a rideshare or taxi if we are worn out. If we do need a rental car, I usually check a few companies to find the best deal, as rates can vary significantly.

On a seven-day trip to Maui in 2024, I found the best deal by booking directly with Alamo through my Sapphire rewards program. I secured a Chrysler Pacifica for 48,989 points, which equates to around $490.

I decide when to splurge and when to save

My dad's vacation rule: splurge on a nice hotel for a few nights, then switch to budget options. Admittedly, I am scarred by that one cockroach-infested motel he booked when I was 11, so I never go too budget. Still, I like his thinking. If we're traveling to multiple cities, we often take this approach, staying in one nicer place and then offsetting it with something more budget-friendly in the next.

Even with hacks, traveling is an expensive undertaking. Tucking money into a vacation fund every month helps, and staying strategic is key. For me, experiencing new places as a family is worth prioritizing.

• Zahydie Burgos's husband was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease at the age of 46.
• Her parents moved into their home to help care for their son-in-law.
• It's allowed Burgos to stay in her job, but still enjoy what may be a limited time left with him.

This story is based on a conversation with Zahydie Burgos, 41, a licensed psychologist from Orlando. It has been edited for length and clarity.

My husband, Francisco — known as Pako — has always been professional, kind, and considerate to everyone.

However, in the fall of 2020, I began to notice changes in his behavior, including skipping meals, struggling to find the right words in conversation, and difficulties managing his finances.

I called him the human calculator because he had been in charge of our income and outgoings from before we got married in 2010, but all of a sudden, he would buy strange things.

Amazon trucks drove up to our house 3 or 4 times a day

We're not into hockey, but he'd go on the internet and buy tons of hockey merchandise that we'd never wear. "It's on sale," he told me. Amazon trucks drove up to our house three or four times a day.

He also ordered expensive artwork online. It was costing a fortune, and we were running out of walls to hang it on.

Pako worked as a lawyer for the federal government, but despite being one of the strongest candidates on paper for promotion, he'd fall short during the interview.

Initially, I attributed it to the stress of the COVID-19 pandemic. We thought it was depression, and I got him the best psychiatrist and a therapist. Even though the psychiatrist changed his medication around 15 times, nothing worked, and he was getting worse.

The communication in our marriage changed

If he were making an appointment over the phone, the other person would likely become impatient because he had difficulty explaining what he wanted.

Once, he was due to meet me at a doctor's office, where we often went. It should have been a 10-minute drive, but he got terribly lost. He stopped the car to describe his surroundings, and I was able to guide him there.

I'd been his princess for 17 years, but he changed the way he communicated with me. He'd snap at me. We had never fought before. "This shouldn't happen in a marriage," I thought.

Then, during the last week of December 2021, he went to an eye appointment. The doctor called and said, "You need to come in." He'd detected an abnormality and thought Pako might have a brain tumor.

We took him for an MRI and, to our relief, it wasn't a tumor. However, there was bad news. The scan showed that his brain was atrophied and looked like that of an 80-year-old man.

I was in denial when we were first told

They said we needed to see a neurologist as soon as possible. She studied the scans and the reports from Pako's psychiatrist and therapist. Then she asked if his judgment had changed. I explained the issues from the past year or so.

She diagnosed him with Alzheimer's disease on January 28, 2022. I was a hot mess; in denial. l said, "How can that be? He's only 46." She explained that it was an early onset.

Pako's face was frozen, then he said, "I knew it." His father died from Alzheimer's in 2012 at the age of 70. He'd watched his decline.

The diagnosis was confirmed at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore after Pako underwent tests, including a lumbar puncture. His condition was genetic.

We informed only his eldest brother, a cardiologist, and my parents. We needed a year of mostly silence to grieve in our own way. I must have cried every day.

Still, we were encouraged by breakthroughs in the treatment of Alzheimer's in its early stages. Pako, now 50, has been on a medication named Lequembi since the spring of 2023. He has also participated in a clinical trial of a drug called Etalanetug for the last two years.

I care for my husband as much as possible, but I work full-time

There wasn't even a conversation before Mom and Dad, who retired in their 60s, moved into our house in Orlando. They relocated from their home in Puerto Rico soon after the diagnosis.

My 74-year-old father, Roberto, walks 30,000 steps a day. He says that he wants to stay fit to support Pako and me. It's mostly due to my parents that I can work full-time, while also caring for my husband whenever possible.

He can feed and bathe himself, even though he is progressing. He requires supervision, especially when he is outside the house, where there are no cameras to monitor him.

My parents are very respectful of boundaries and refrain from intervening in his affairs. But they make sure he is eating or taking his medication when I'm not there.

We felt it was time to share the news with the rest of our family in February 2023. They became our village. Pako's siblings visit often to spend time with him and take care of appointments I'm unable to attend. His 85-year-old mom calls every day from Puerto Rico.

I advocate for awareness of Alzheimer's disease

Members of the family have even joined us on our "bucket list" tours to ensure we make the most of every moment together. We've visited places such as Athens, Greece, and Venice, Italy.

Pako's diagnosis has upended our lives, but it has also been empowering. I advocate for carers like us, people with Alzheimer's, and raise awareness about early detection via Us Against Alzheimer's.

Most of all, I'm grateful for the support of our relatives who have made sacrifices for Pako and me. Their love and dedication mean a great deal.

• Ukraine's drone schools are preparing operators to fight against Russia.
• The drone fight develops rapidly, with new tactics and drone types always emerging.
• Schools say they're always updating their teaching, as often as every two weeks.

The Ukrainian drone schools training operators for war are having to rewrite their lessons as fast as every other week to get students ready for an ever-changing battlefield.

Within the drone battle, a critically important aspect of this war, tech and tactics are shifting rapidly. Three drone schools told Business Insider that it's imperative they keep their lessons up to date because it's life or death on the battlefield.

To maintain relevance and the tactical edge, the instructors are visiting the front regularly, keeping in touch with former students, and testing out new technology to shape their curriculum.

A race to stay on top

Tetyana, a Ukrainian veteran who goes by the call sign "Ruda" and is now the head of R&D for Dronarium, a drone training school with sites in Kyiv and Lviv, told Business Insider that changes sometimes take place every two weeks.

At the front, the evolution of technology is "moving forward at a very fast pace." It means that "also we have to be very fast in our adaptability."

Dmytro Slediuk, head of the education department at Dronarium, told BI that "we continuously make changes to our training programs."

For the most part, he said, no two lectures on the same subject are exactly the same; something is always changing. Over 16,000 students have trained at the school. Their comments and experiences are reflected in the training program curriculum, Slediuk said. Instructors also visit the front lines, and service members come to the school, where they deliver insight into the latest in warfighting.

There are also group chats with soldiers, Tetyana said. It's two-way communication, with soldiers sharing front-line feedback and instructors providing guidance and advice.

Vitalii Pervak, CEO of another training school, Karlsson, Karas & Associates, said that it is absolutely vital that schools teach what is informed by and needed for the field.

"We do not teach things that will not be necessary in combat," he said. "We constantly update our instructors' knowledge," occasionally with visits to the front to "see firsthand what has changed, what remains relevant, and what can be discarded."

Viktor Taran, the CEO of the Kruk Drones UAV training center, told Business Insider that all students are in group chats with their instructors, and that connection is preserved after the training is complete. "Cadets go to the front line, type questions in those chats, or provide information about new enemy tactics."

New information is added to the courses, with some topics updated every three months, he said.

A rapidly changing fight

Drone strikes are responsible for most front-line hits and casualties, with both sides using them in lieu of traditional weaponry.

The result is constant modifications to how they are used and their tactics, as well as the drones themselves, with new types frequently entering the battlefield.

Luke Pollard, the UK's armed forces minister, said this year that Western militaries risk becoming outdated. He said drone warfare is evolving so fast that "we have to fundamentally challenge our assumptions."

He said that drone technology in Ukraine "iterates every two to three weeks on the front line," while NATO militaries "build and procure really expensive high-end bits of kit. And it will take you five, 10 years: five years to run a procurement challenge, another 10 years to build it." At that rate, the system may already be obsolete by the time it's ready for war.

Defense companies watching Ukraine can see the speed of change, too, and are moving quickly to make changes. Matt McCrann, CEO of the US arm of Droneshield, a company making counter-drone systems for the US and Europe, recently told Business Insider that weapon development cycles are shifting from months and years to weeks.

Companies are regularly engaging in approaches similar to the drone schools — chats with soldiers and even front-line visits — to keep their understanding of warfighting demands up to date. Some companies have previously told BI that the ways Ukrainians are using tech have come as a surprise, so that communication and engagement are critical.

Gediminas Guoba, the CEO of Lithuanian company Granta Autonomy, which has drones in Ukraine, told Business Insider over the summer that he visits the battlefield himself "just to understand how it really works" and see what changes need to be made to its products to keep them relevant.

And it's beneficial for soldiers too, sparking faster iteration. Ukrainian drone operators have told Business Insider that they keep in touch with companies making their drones to give them feedback on how they can be improved, as well as to get things like replacement parts.

From the companies making drones to the troops using them to the schools training operators, everyone is rushing to maintain the edge, but the schools are not simply fighting to stay on top of changes. Targeted by Russian attacks and often seeking donations to help fund the training, they're fighting for survival as well.

• When I gave birth to my son, my partner and I moved in with my mom for support.
• I struggled with mental health after giving birth, and my mom was there to help without judgment.
• I'm so glad I chose to live in a multigenerational household as a new mom.

I always imagined postpartum life as something I could manage with a bit of determination and the new glow of motherly instinct. But I realized I was wrong when I had my baby at 24.

I didn't go through the whole nesting process. My hormones didn't entice me to establish a homely space with my partner. In reality, I felt unprepared and unsure.

What I truly wanted was to be with my mom. How else was I supposed to survive the most fragile chapter of my life? Moving into my mom's house with my partner and our newborn son was a no-brainer.

It didn't just give us a roof over our heads; it completely reshaped the way I viewed multigenerational living.

I struggled with my mental health after giving birth

If my mom hadn't been there — literally in the next room, ready to step in before I even knew that I needed help — I don't know how my life would look today.

After giving birth, I struggled. I felt like I was drifting. I didn't want to leave the house, take my son for walks, or even leave my bed. I struggled to come to terms with the fact that life had changed, and I wasn't the same person anymore. Despite the immense love I had for my baby, everything felt dim. There was a strange mix of tenderness and numbness.

While I was dealing with my own internal struggles, my partner tried his best, despite the fact that he was also overwhelmed and unsure of what he was doing. My mum immediately became the steady rhythm on days that felt chaotic and unpredictable.

My mom was there to help me through all of it

She noticed things I didn't know how to voice — new mom anxieties that I hid behind smiles, moments when my strength was wearing thin. She didn't ask for explanations or lecture me on how to cope. She simply showed up, again and again, filling the gaps with patience, love, and practical help.

She cooked meals for us every single day, making sure we ate even when we were too tired to think about food. She took my son two or three nights a week in the beginning, giving my partner and me a chance to have uninterrupted sleep. She bottle-fed him, rocked him, and soothed him. She loved him with the same tenderness she showed my brothers and me when we were babies.

Bath time became her ritual. She handled it with ease and warmth, cooing gently at my son while he kicked the water, his tiny face recognising the woman who played a huge role in raising him. Watching her care for him reminded me that I wasn't alone, that being a mother didn't mean I had to carry every weight myself.

Every milestone he hit, like eating solids, teething, and potty training, she knew exactly what to do and was always on hand for a demonstration or advice. I never had to overthink things or worry about doing the wrong thing. She was always right beside me.

Most importantly, she reminded me that needing support didn't make me a lesser mother. In her presence, I felt safe.

The multi-generational household helped me become a new mom

I remember reading an article in The Atlantic about how the idea of a nuclear family structure is a mistake, and I wholeheartedly agree.

How did we go from the old dynamic of "all hands on deck" — grandparents and grandchildren living in the same household with other family members — to the fragmented and somewhat fragile unit of just mom, dad, and children?

I'm so glad I didn't fall for that narrative in my son's early years.

Spreading out parenting responsibilities reinforces a sense of community, allowing me to actually bond with my baby without collapsing under pressure, and to slowly grow into motherhood with support rather than fear. I was healthy and happy, and above all, my baby was too.

Little by little, I came to understand that parenting isn't meant to be a solitary endeavor; when they say it takes a village, they mean it.