• Early in my career, a boss told me I was "too direct" and my coworkers couldn't handle me.
• I didn't want to hide my greatest strength as an assertive person.
• I eventually learned when to be direct and when to balance it out with politeness. 

Early on in my human resources career, my boss made a comment that stuck with me: "You're really direct, and many people aren't going to know how to handle you."

I felt numb. I knew that about myself, but what do I do with that critique? I mean, he was direct, too, and people figured out how to handle him. Why am I different? Was it really just because I'm a woman? The thought track, "Are you being so direct that they can't handle it? Will they think you're rude?" ran like ticker tape through my mind for years. It still runs through my mind in social situations, when coaching my clients, and even when writing this essay.

My boss wasn't the last person to give me this feedback. I heard it again in corporate meeting rooms and during training sessions from colleagues, direct reports, and future managers.

After years of working in human resources, I finally learned to view my directness as a competitive advantage in business. If I hadn't learned to blend direct communication with empathy and compassion, it might have developed into an approach that was detrimental to my career and relationships.

I learned how to balance my assertiveness with my politeness

As an HR director, I used my "tell it like it is" style to communicate the good, bad, and ugly to the CEO regarding change and managing acquisitions. I also had to be honest with him about what decisions would not sit well with employees. My ability to remain unemotional during massive organizational transitions allowed me to counsel and encourage others through their anger, resistance, and tears.

My assertiveness became a strength for me, but I understood it was a turn-off for many. I didn't want to lose that strength by hiding it, so I eventually learned to develop situational savviness.

Being situationally savvy doesn't mean you abandon the unique quirks that make you — you. It means you are confident and flexible in your skills, approach, and tone while using your emotional intelligence to drive positive outcomes.

To do this, it's important to identify circumstances where this trait is beneficial. For instance, I can identify that my directness allows me to tackle hard challenges that many people shy away from. Next, I need to recognize scenarios where this trait can be harmful. In my case, being too direct with new acquaintances or colleagues can backfire and ignite negative reactions from those around me.

The key here is to identify situations where I can balance my directness with the politeness I developed to overcompensate for it. Instead of "hiding" my directness, I can practice both directness and politeness.

This tool can be applied to any trait you have been criticized for and the behavior you've developed to counter it. If you have been told you are too sensitive and you've worked to balance that with more objectiveness, situational savviness means assessing how to be both sensitive and objective. If you are "too assertive" and you've been building behaviors to temper it, you can focus on how to be both assertive and agreeable.

For example, among close friends and loved ones, I do not have to spend a lot of time figuring out how to tone down my directness. However, if I am presenting a training to new people, I will make an effort to balance my candidness with my values of love or respect. Instead of jumping straight into feedback, as I might with a trusted colleague, I will highlight the strengths and admirable qualities of their approach first.

This balance helped me excel in my career

For a long time, I believed that I had to "hide" my directness from people at work. Not only was this ineffective but it had dire consequences on my confidence and overall morale at work.

Luckily, I am now able to identify when I can fully embrace my directness and when I should tone it down.

Acquiring situational savviness allowed me to thrive in my career — initially as a corporate leader and now as an entrepreneur.

• Biden described himself as the "first black woman" in an interview with Wurd radio station.
• It comes just days after Biden's disastrous debate with former US president Donald Trump.
• Biden said he needs to get more sleep and stop holding events after 8 p.m., according to reports.

Joe Biden's argument that his disastrous debate performance last week was a one-off is seemingly falling apart.

In his latest verbal slip-up, the president said he is "proud" to be the first "black woman to serve with a black president."

The 81-year-old president made the gaffe during an interview with Philadelphia's Wurd radio station, apparently confusing himself with his vice-president Kamala Harris.

"By the way, I'm proud to be, as I said, the first vice-president, first black woman…to serve with a black president," he said

It comes just days after Biden's debate with former US president Donald Trump, which was marked by verbal gaffes and confusing statements.

Biden is now facing increasing pressure to drop out of the presidential race. A Reuters/Ipsos poll showed one in three Democrats favored Biden quitting.

The Biden camp has offered multiple explanations for the president's slurred words, nonsensical phrases, and vacant stares, including jet lag, a cold, and incompetent aides.

But donors have publicly voiced their concerns with what they say are Biden's age-related problems.

On Thursday, millionaire heiress Abigail Disney announced that she would stop donations to the Democratic Party until they "pulled Biden from the top of the ticket".

Her statements echoed that of Netflix cofounder Reed Hastings, who told The New York Times that "Biden needs to step aside to allow a vigorous Democratic leader to beat Trump and keep us safe and prosperous."

Biden has admitted to supporters he does not speak as "smoothly" or "debate as well" as he used to, but has publicly vowed to fight on.

Axios, citing people close to the president, said Biden worked best between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. and struggled to function outside of that window.

His press secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, admitted to reporters that "he's a little slower than he used to be."

Meanwhile, a clip obtained by the Daily Beast showed Trump discussing the performance on a golf course, where he called Biden a "broken down pile of crap."

Biden told the governors he needs to get more sleep and stop holding events after 8 p.m., according to CNN and The New York Times.

Biden's campaign didn't immediately respond to a request for comment from Business Insider about the reports.

On Friday, Biden's mental acuity will be scrutinized when he sits for an interview with ABC News's George Stephanopoulos, who used to be head of communications at the White House during Bill Clinton's presidency.

Biden's previous interactions with Stephanopolous include a rare sit-down appearance in 2021, where he defended the US decision to pull its troops from Afghanistan.

• Neither my husband or myself wear wedding rings and people are often surprised to find out.
• We've been together for 13 years, have two kids and a puppy together.
• I do have an engagement ring but don't wear often because I'm not a fan of wearing jewelry.

When I meet people, they're usually surprised to find out I'm married. That's because I don't wear a wedding ring. Don't fault me, though — neither does my husband.

Contrary to popular belief, we do this not because we are looking for free drinks or scandalous trysts. We just don't feel like wearing them. For us, it has worked — for 13 years, with two kids and a new puppy.

People don't always understand

Some may find this difficult to understand, as rings that symbolize marital commitment are deeply rooted in many cultures.

When I mention my husband, most people just look at my left index finger. I catch a familiar look for a split second.

"Why don't you wear a ring if you're married?" I've been asked so many times.

I live in the suburbs of Boston, where people generally follow and stick to tradition. But I'm originally from Colorado, and people there are more relaxed about such things. I know several couples from home who choose not to wear wedding rings. This may be because they do extreme sports regularly, or it's just not the same thing as it feels here on the East Coast, where everyone loves to sport their multi-carat rocks.

Back in Colorado, people have never noticed, like they do here in Boston.

I've been at work and colleagues have asked with genuine curiosity and perplexion why I don't wear a ring. Does my husband wear one? Am I not enraged that he doesn't? They seem especially confused when I answer that I don't care he doesn't want to wear one.

My husband did propose with a ring

I do have an engagement ring, and I am glad he got me one. I love it even though it isn't what I pictured it would be when I was young. If I had an endless supply of money, I still wouldn't change it. It's a symbol of what we've gone through.

My husband proposed on a sunny afternoon in May. We had spent the day at Cheesman Park in Denver and walked to a wine bar nearby. I was not expecting it, but he pulled out a diamond ring and asked if I would marry him.

When we got married, we signed the paperwork and said we'd have a reception later. But he got a job in another city so our energy suddenly went to relocating. So, I suppose that not wearing a wedding ring is partly that the ritual of getting married got interrupted. After the move, our lives started anew, and we never quite got back to planning and organizing what would have been the initial traditions of our life together.

I don't love rings in general

Ultimately, I don't find wearing rings or other jewelry comfortable for long periods. As a writer, I'm on the computer for hours a day and rings and other jewelry get in the way of typing.

Also, I've become more casual as I've gotten older. Like jewelry, I probably wear makeup three or four times a year. I never want to invest the time on it.

Perhaps it's a combination of having two kids and going through the pandemic. There aren't as many events or outings I go to post-pandemic that require getting dressed up, which is when I'd typically wear jewelry. And if I am going to spend time on my appearance, nine times out of 10, it's going to be at the gym because that's where I get the benefits of health and fitness.

• Kendrick Lamar has released a music video for his commercially successful Drake diss track, "Not Like Us."
• The song was originally released during his diss track war with Drake in May.
• Here are all the moments that seem to reference Kendrick's beef with Drake.

Kendrick Lamar seems to be mocking Drake again with his new music video for his diss track "Not Like Us."

The two major hip-hop stars were embroiled in a diss track war in April and early May after Lamar publicly called out Drake and J. Cole in a verse on "Like That" for Future and Metro Boomin's album "We Don't Trust You" in March.

Neither rapper has released a new diss track since May 5, but Lamar is still fuelling the beef.

On Thursday, the "Not Like Us" video became the first music video Lamar released for his Drake diss tracks.

The video is filled with cameos, including his longtime partner Whitney Alford and their two children.

The video seems to be Lamar's second victory lap after he performed four of his five diss tracks and rapped "Not Like Us" five times in a row at his Juneteenth concert last month.

At first, hip-hop fans were excited about Lamar and Drake's rap beef, believing it was a friendly competition between some of the genre's most notable stars. Rap beef can help artists boost streams and sales and prove they are worthy of acclaim in the hip-hop world.

But Drake and Lamar's beef soon turned vicious when both stars made unverified allegations of sexual assault, pedophilia, and domestic abuse against each other.

After a week of back-to-back diss tracks, Drake seemed to drop out of the beef after the release of "The Heart Part 6" on May 5. But Lamar just keeps going.

Here are all the moments in the "Not Like Us" music video that seems to reference the rap beef.

Compton Courthouse is shown multiple times.

The "Not Like Us" music video features multiple shots of the Los Angeles County Superior Court in Compton, California, and scenes of Lamar and fans outside the court.

In the first verse of the song, Kendrick calls Drake a pedophile, and showing the courthouse could be a nod to that.

In May, Variety reported that the cover art for "Not Like Us" was an aerial view of Drake's mansion near Toronto with pins on the building, resembling those used on sex offender maps.

Drake denied the pedophilia allegations in "The Heart Part 6," saying he's "too famous" to have sex with underaged women and he would be arrested for it.

Lamar teases a new song at the beginning of the track.

Before the "Not Like Us" beat begins, a new track plays where Lamar raps about reincarnation.

Could this be another track directed at Drake, or is Lamar teasing a song for an upcoming album, indicating that he is moving on from the beef?

Tommy the Clown, DeMar DeRozan, and Black Hippy make cameos in the song.

Tommy the Clown, DeMar DeRozan, and Black Hippy rap group members Ab-Soul, Schoolboy Q, and Jay Rock are some of the many cameos in the music video. They also appeared onstage during Lamar's Juneteenth concert last month and are figures of the West Coast hip-hop community.

In the diss track "Taylor Made Freestyle," released in April, Drake uses AI-generated vocals of Snoop Dogg and the late Tupac Shakur to question Lamar's position as a representative of the West Coast rap scene.

Lamar challenged this idea by getting figures from the West Coast community to publicly support him in the video. Lamar likely filmed "Not Like Us" in Compton landmarks, such as Tam's Burgers, for a similar reason.

Lamar appears to take a shot at Drake's label, OVO.

Early in the video, Lamar hits a pinata shaped like an owl, the logo of Drake's record label, OVO.

A caption at the bottom of a screen reads, "Disclaimer: No OVhoes were harmed in making this video."

"Ov-ho" is a term Lamar uses in "Not Like Us" to mock Drake and his label.

This scene seems to be a direct reference to Lamar and Drake's diss track fight.

At the end of the video, Lamar stares at a real-life owl and puts it in a cage, suggesting that Lamar thinks he has defeated Drake.

The cage could symbolize Lamar's attempt to ostracize Drake from the hip-hop community with the rap beef.

Lamar references Drake's first diss track, "Push Ups."

In Drake's first diss track, "Push-ups," the rapper uses the exercise as a metaphor to mock Lamar's alleged deal with his former label, Top Dawg Entertainment (TDE). Drake claimed the label took 50% of profits from Lamar's songs.

Lamar and TDE never responded to this allegation.

A representative for Lamar and TDE did not immediately respond to a comment request from Business Insider.

In one scene of the "Not Like Us" music video, Lamar is seen doing push-ups on cinder blocks, appearing to reference the track.

Lamar may also be suggesting that Drake should be in prison. The layout of the room, the small bed, and Lamar's tracksuit outfit all seem to reference a prison cell. At this point of the song, Lamar also makes the pedophile allegations.

TDE CEO Anthony "Top Dawg" Tiffith and producer Mustard also make cameos.

Partway during the video, Lamar stands next to Anthony "Top Dawg" Tiffith, the CEO of TDE, and later hugs him. This may be another way of Lamar addressing Drake's allegations that TDE exploited the "Humble" rapper. When the pair hug, they prove there's no beef between Lamar and TDE.

Mustard, the producer of "Not Like Us," makes a cameo alongside Lamar when they drive to Tam's Burgers.

Lamar appears to address Drake's allegations about his longtime partner Whitney and their children

Whitney Alford, Lamar's longtime partner, and their two children are the final major cameo in the "Not Like Us" music video.

In his diss tracks "Family Matters" and "The Heart Part 6," Drake claims that Lamar domestically abused Alford. Drake also claimed that Dave Free, the cofounder of Lamar's company PGLang, is the biological father of one of Lamar's kids.

Lamar has not directly addressed either allegation. But Alford and his two children appear in the music video, and Free got a director credit at the end of the video.

Lamar seems to suggest there is no drama between him and Alford or Free.

• The US economy added 206,000 jobs in June, more than the forecast of 191,000.
• The unemployment rate rose from 4.0% in May to 4.1% in June.
• Data released earlier this week showed job openings rose slightly from 7.9 million in April to 8.1 million in May.

The US labor market came in just a touch hotter than expected, adding 206,000 jobs in June. Meanwhile, the unemployment rate unexpectedly rose from 4.0% in May to 4.1% in June.

According to the forecast noted on Investing.com, the US economy was expected to add 191,000 nonfarm payrolls in June.

According to a news release from the Bureau of Labor Statistics on Friday, job growth for May was revised from 272,000 to 218,000, and April's job growth was revised from 165,000 to 108,000.

Investing.com noted that the forecast for June's US unemployment rate was 4.0%. For the last few years, the unemployment rate has been at a historically low level, and while inflation is still stubborn, Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz recently told Business Insider how remarkable it was that the inflation rate had cooled so quickly — after the rate skyrocketed to 9.1% in June 2022 — while the unemployment rate didn't have to surge as it came down.

Other job market data out earlier this week showed that job openings and quits didn't change that much in May, with openings rising by 221,000 from 7.9 million in April to 8.1 million in May. The quits rate has been 2.2% for seven straight months, and there were 3.5 million quits in May.

"In May, the labor market continued to come into better balance — with openings holding steady and separations remaining low," Elizabeth Renter, senior economist at NerdWallet, said in a written commentary earlier this week, adding that the new data was "further encouragement that the current labor market supports continued inflation moderation and that a September rate cut could still be at play."

This is a developing story. Please check back for updates.

• Business Insider is putting together a power list of the young talent on Wall Street.
• We want to spotlight the standouts in investment banking, investing as well as sales and trading. 
• Please submit your ideas here by August 7th. 

We're seeking nominations for Business Insider's list of rising stars on Wall Street, and we want to hear from you. 

Submit your suggestions below or via this form.

We're looking for the leaders of tomorrow, those making notable contributions or accomplishments and setting themselves apart from their class in investment banking, investing, and sales and trading. 

In the past, we've had people with a variety of roles and experiences from companies including Blackstone, Citadel, JPMorgan, and Goldman Sachs.

Take a look at our 2023 list here.

Criteria and methodology

Our selection criteria: We ask that nominees be 35 or under as of September 30, 2024, based in the US, work front-office roles, and stand out from their peers. Editors make the final decisions.

Please make your submission below or through this form by August 7th to have your selection considered for the list. Please be as specific as possible in your submission.

Please email Michelle Abrego at mabrego@businessinsider. com with any questions or issues submitting your nominations.

• AI skills are in high demand as companies aim to leverage AI for competitive products.
• AI expertise can lead to lucrative roles in Big Tech or startups and substantial pay raises.
• Here are some of the key skills that employers are seeking for AI-related roles. 

AI skills are in high demand in the job market as more companies seek to use the technology to compete with rivals and become more efficient.

Having AI expertise could also land you a position at a Big Tech giant, startups — or even get you a pay bump.

Nancy Xu, founder and CEO of AI recruitment company Moonhub, told Business Insider that her firm is seeing an uptick in demand for "technical generalists who can build AI applications, along with domain experts in several emerging areas of AI research, large language model training and fine-tuning, and machine learning infrastructure deployment."

She says some companies are going the extra mile to win AI talent. "We're seeing CEOs flying to candidates to close offers, significantly above-average sign-on and performance bonuses, new equity structures, customized benefits for individuals, and more," Xu said.

Iffi Wahla, CEO of global talent network Edge, said data scientists have been among the best-paid tech workers in recent years, partly because every business needs people who can understand and extract value from data.

Companies want to spread AI skills across their operations, so those with a background or training in techniques such as prompt engineering on generative AI will benefit from increased job opportunities and pay, Wahla added.

Here are some of the most sought-after skills that may help you land a well-paying job in AI.

Aswini Thota, director of data science at financial service firm USAA, told BI that when hiring data scientists and AI engineers, he assesses candidates based on three key areas: technical prowess, business acumen and communication, and innovation.

Technical knowledge

Thota says data scientists are expected to be well-versed in Python and R, the most popular programming languages for building AI models, while some companies use C++ and Java.

They're also expected to have a foundational knowledge of statistics, as well as machine learning algorithms and frameworks in Python or R.

"A vast majority of organizations rely on cloud technology to store, analyze, and build models, so a working knowledge of Amazon Web Services, Google Cloud Platform, Snowflake, Microsoft Azure, Databricks, and similar platforms has become increasingly important in recent years," Thota said.

Business acumen and communication

According to Thota, data scientists looking to land a job in AI should also have strong business acumen to grasp an organization's challenges and develop solutions. "Communication skills come into play when data scientists must explain the results and influence decision-makers to align with the technical approach they recommend."

Innovation

When recruiting for senior or lead roles, Thota says he looks for candidates who have the potential to lead with innovation. "Hiring candidates with an innovative mindset helps us anticipate and address potential challenges before they become issues and also develop groundbreaking solutions."

Flexibility and ongoing learning

Ram Srinivasan, a future of work leader at consulting firm JLL, says some of the most sought-after AI competencies include a combination of technical and soft skills.

They include having a "strong learning mindset and adaptability" because employers look for candidates who can quickly adopt new technologies and methods.

Problem-solving and teamwork

Srinivasan adds: "AI projects often involve complex challenges requiring innovative problem-solving skills. Collaborating effectively with diverse teams, including data scientists, project managers, and product developers, is also essential."

Ethical considerations

AI development poses ethical questions and risks that engineers and developers must navigate responsibly.

Identifying use cases

Srinivasan said tech workers should be able to spot potential AI applications across industries, assess their feasibility, and implement them effectively.

"This involves understanding various sectors, developing implementation strategies, managing organizational change, and measuring ROI. Skills in expanding successful AI pilots and facilitating user adoption are crucial."

• Dorine Olive, 60, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2019, which reignited her desire to travel.
• Olive does home exchanges, hosting guests in her Florida home and staying in strangers' houses.
• She pays an annual fee to a site that connects house-swappers rather than a nightly rate.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Dorine Olive, a 60-year-old semi-retired software sales rep based in Orlando who travels the world doing home exchanges. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I came down with ovarian cancer right before COVID-19 and realized I wanted to start spending a lot more time experiencing life.

I was raised in a military family, so I've lived in a few different places around the world. I have always had a passion for traveling, and buying this round-the-world ticket was a dream of mine.

You can choose from different alliances. We chose Star Alliance. You're allowed a maximum of 16 segments. We did our maximum, but we're doing eight destinations: Croatia, Hungary, Turkey, Uganda, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia, and Australia.

A coach ticket would have cost just under $8,000. We decided to treat ourselves to a business class because we were going to have a lot of overnights. That was $12,700 total per ticket.

I have friends who bought a business-class ticket just to go to Croatia and home. They paid $5,000 for one place — we're getting eight places. We're like nomads now.

It takes a lot of work. It's really good for people like me who absolutely love figuring things out and planning because it takes a lot of time and effort.

We save money staying in strangers' homes

For all of our accommodations, we're not spending any money.

We've booked it through Home Exchange, an app. (Editor's note: Home Exchange charges $220 a year and up to be a member and verifies users with ID and proof of address, according to its website.)

With Airbnb, you're spending money. With Home Exchange, you're not — you just pay an annual membership fee.

They do allow people to ask for a cleaning fee. Some people ask for it, some don't.

There are different ways that you can do it. You can do a simultaneous swap, or you can use GuestPoints. When you put your profile on Home Exchange and you put all your details into their system, it has an algorithm that tells you the number of points that your house is worth.

Our house is around 296 points a night. That's a higher-end house in terms of points.

When someone comes and stays at your house, you earn points. In the two years since we started, we now have 41 exchanges under our belt.

I tend to get the feeling that home-exchange people are more into traveling the world and being open to meeting other people. They're just more worldly, trustworthy people.

We've found long-term friends through house swaps

I had a lovely 77-year-old man from France come stay at our house a year ago through Home Exchange. His 99-year-old father was in hospice in our town, so he was looking to say goodbye to him. We fell in love with him.

We ride motorcycles. His dream was to ride a motorcycle. He'd never been on one. So we took him for a ride on a motorcycle.

Last night, we stayed at a couple's home in a very charming little town in Turkey. Their place was a real gem. He's Turkish and she's from Ohio, and they've been married for a long time.

Some people you just really bond with, and that's how this couple was.

They own a place also in New York. There is no doubt in my mind that we will visit them in New York next year — because this year's travel has already been booked up.

Letting strangers into your home sounds scary, but it isn't

Most of our friends think we're crazy for doing this.

They're like, "What do you do with your private stuff, or your possessions? Or aren't you worried about somebody breaking something?"

We worried about that when we first started Home Exchange. Then, after you do it a couple of times, you realize, "Oh, my goodness. What was I worrying about?"

Nobody's looking at anybody's business. You're there to be just as respectful of their place as they are of yours.

My only regret is that I didn't discover this 10 or 15 years ago.

• Jonathan Jacob Meijer is a prolific sperm donor who is the focus of Netflix's "The Man with 1000 Kids."
• Meijer told a court in April 2023 that his many children should use a social media symbol to prevent incest.
• He recently said he wasn't 'serious' but fears around incest are 'outdated.' 

Jonathan Jacob Meijer, the prolific sperm donor who is the focus of the show "The Man with 1000 Kids," said that his children should use a symbol on social media to avoid unwittingly having incestuous relationships.

The Netflix docuseries, which was released on July 3, details how Meijer donated sperm to different fertility clinics in his native Netherlands and around the world. The Hague District Court banned him from donating sperm in April 2023 after it was found he had fathered between 500 and 600 children around the world, Reuters reported.

Meijer confirmed that he fathered 550 children during the 2023 court case, and it's unclear why Netflix chose the title "The Man with 1000 Kids." Representatives for the streamer did not immediately respond to Business Insider's request for comment.

The show has sparked debate about Meijer and the ethics of sperm donation. It's the latest example of Netflix getting audiences talking. In April, subscribers became so obsessed by the true crime stalking drama "Baby Reindeer" that they tracked down the real person that the stalker character was based on.

The third episode of "The Man with 1000 Kids" details the 2023 court case that resulted in his ban and states that he'll be fined €100,000 if he donates anywhere in the world again. This is because Meijer has so many children that are his they are at risk of inbreeding.

During the court proceedings, the judge asked Meijer about the incest concerns. He suggested that his children should use a symbol on social media as a way of avoiding incest.

A narrator reading the court transcript in the docuseries said: "The defence argues that if they are worried about incest, his donor children can use a social media symbol to identify themselves as one of his children."

A woman from Australia identified as Kate in the documentary, who used Meijer's sperm, told the show that his court statement shocked the mothers involved with the case.

"It was a horrible suggestion. A lot of children may not want to display a symbol. A lot of those children may want to maintain their privacy," she said.

In an interview broadcast on Wednesday on BBC Radio 4's "Woman's Hour," the host asked Meijer if he really thought social media was a good way for his children to identify themselves.

Meijer responded: "Just to make clear, it was not serious like 'Oh they have to do this.' Look, we're in a new situation now, we're in a new phase where children from donors with an open identity, they deal with a new situation. So for me I have 17 years as a donor, I know what I'm talking about, I think about it every day."

He went on: "So the things that you bring here like all these outdated views like 'Oh the fears of inbreeding, oh the identity crisis' we're now in 2024, we've seen lesbian couples everywhere, single mothers everywhere. We know that donors are helping families, so these outdated views, we should stop projecting them on these children."

• I visited the Blue Zone of Costa Rica's Nicoya Peninsula to learn about longevity.
• Residents of Blue Zones live long, healthy lives — and you can see why when observing local habits. 
• I saw that while the keys to healthier living are simple, living by them takes intentional effort.

There's more to see on the white sand beaches of Costa Rica's Nicoya Peninsula than the beautiful jungle coastline.

As one of the world's original Blue Zones, residents there live longer, healthier lives than the global average. And while the keys to living that lifestyle are deeply ingrained in local culture, the habits that keep it alive aren't always immediately clear.

If you look closely, as I did while visiting the Blue Zone last month — partly because of a wonderful work assignment but also because of a newfound obsession with wellness as I enter my 30s — you can glean lessons on longevity to take back home with you.

Here are three things I learned that I'll be reminding myself of as I prioritize healthy living going forward:

It takes intention

In Costa Rica, a surge in tourism means a surge in various luxuries cropping up to provide outsiders with easy and familiar places to eat, shop, and relax. McDonald's, Pizza Hut, and Pollolandia — a local fried chicken chain — have made it to the most remote corners of the Central American country.

Locals I spoke to said the Blue Zone lifestyle is real, but it's fading. Instead of balanced meals of fruit and freshly caught fish, it's quicker to pick up a burger at the fast food chain that moved in once the tourists did. Why get up at 4 a.m. to tend to your livestock and split wood to keep a fire going if you no longer need a farm and you've had electricity for years?

Maintaining a Blue Zone lifestyle in a modern-day world doesn't happen automatically — it takes daily effort and intention.

Simpler is better

Watching how locals lived in the beach towns of Paquera, Tambor, and Montezuma showed me that wellness-centric habits don't have to be complicated. No one I spoke to had elaborate gym routines or chlorophyll drops to add to their oat milk smoothies.

Instead, most everything was pared down to its most essential elements. The Blue Zone diet included fresh, whole foods, rarely prepared in any way more complicated than roasting; exercise was daily but rarely vigorous — like walking to the grocery store for ingredients rather than interval training.

A man and woman I spoke to had lived on the beach their whole lives, making their living selling coconuts. They were 64 and 68, kept remarkably young by their active work and limited-stress lifestyle. In speaking with them, it became clear that Blue Zone living makes wellness a routine built into daily life, and simple habits are best for that.

It's holistic

In addition to being habitual, wellness in the Nicoya Peninsula was very clearly holistic. Locals approached longevity not just as a physical goal but as a mental and social one, as well.

Yes, they ate balanced meals and moved often, but another key element of wellness in Costa Rica was locals' focus on their connection to their community. Multi-generational households are common, playgrounds for schoolchildren stay open past dark, and the many animals who share the environment are treated like neighbors, not adversaries.

Costa Rica's unofficial national catchphrase, pura vida, meaning "pure life," sums it up well: It's about integrating and making the best of your whole life, not just parts of it.